


Learning to Love Again

by alakewood



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic, Fluff and Angst, Kid Fic, Knotting, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Reconciliation, Sick Kid, Tragedy, Traumatic Pregnancy, attempted non-con, more angst than fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 22:48:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 34,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2086053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alakewood/pseuds/alakewood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is a single father struggling to make ends meet while taking care of his fragile daughter.  His life takes a change for the better when he meets Jensen and things are as close to perfect for Jared as they've ever been.  Of course, that's when someone from his past returns, threatening to ruin his happiness.  When Jared's life starts to fall apart for the second time, Jensen's not there to help him put it back together.  A traumatic event reunites them, but can they find their happily ever after?</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Written for the 2014 Supernatural/J2 Big Bang.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning to Love Again

**Author's Note:**

> Beta-read by the wonderful [bloodyeccentrik](http://bloodyeccentrik.livejournal.com/), with awesome art by the amazing [meesasometimes.](http://meesasometimes.livejournal.com/) ([Give her some love!](http://meesasometimes.livejournal.com/d2.html))
> 
> Clarification on the non-con and tragedy can be found in the end notes.

It's a Tuesday afternoon when Jared moves into the small, clapboard house on 19th Street nestled between two similarly dilapidated houses. Across the road there is a neon-lit bail-bondsman's office that offers cash-for-gold services and a two-story limestone building with fading red and blue paint and a crooked wooden sign swinging over the door proclaiming 'Ackles' Gym' in peeling white script.

Between himself and Aaron, it only takes a matter of hours to unload the back of the moving van Jared rented for the day. The appliances were included, so all he's got to move in is furniture, and he doesn't really have much of that: two beds, two dressers, a small dinner table with four mismatched chairs, a couch, an entertainment stand for the 32-inch TV he's had since he dropped out of college, and two bookshelves. There are clothes baskets of clothes and boxes of dishes and silverware, a few electronics and a multitude of movies, and his entire collection of books. Then there are the colorful plastic totes full of Katelyn's toys and stuffed animals.

“I think that's the last of it,” Aaron says with a swipe of his forearm across his forehead after sliding a box labeled 'dishes' onto the kitchen counter.

“Thanks, man. I appreciate your help.” Jared stands with his hands on his hips as he surveys the small room and dated appliances. He has to remind himself that this is all just temporary, they'll be here for a year – two at most – until he can get back on his feet, get Katelyn's medical bills paid off and find himself a better-paying job.

Aaron punches Jared's shoulder lightly. “No problem, Jay. Now, about my compensation...”

Jared just grins. “I think I saw a Papa John's a couple blocks over when I toured the neighborhood.”

“Well, I suppose the place has _that_ going for it, at least,” Aaron comments, leading the way out the front door and down the cracked cement stairs.

Jared will be the first to admit the area is pretty rough, not quite wrong-side-of-the-tracks rough or crack-den and meth-lab rough, but the whole neighborhood could use a good coat of paint and some landscaping. Just another casualty of the economic downturn, he guesses.

“How're you feelin', Katie-cat?” Jared asks, leaning against the door frame of his daughter's room.

The little girl shrugs her slim shoulders, turning her pale face up to her father. “I'm okay.”

Jared moves into the room and kneels next to the bed, brushing Katelyn's dark hair away from her eyes. “Yeah? Okay enough for a walk?”

Katelyn shrugs again, looking much smaller than her six years as she nods and slides off the low mattress outfitted with pink and purple bedding. “Are we taking Harley?” she asks, putting the dolls she was playing with back into one of the toy totes against the wall.

“Of course, baby girl.” Jared picks her up, settles her on his hip, and heads into the living room where he sets her back down. “Put your shoes on and I'll go get Harley.”

Getting ready for a walk is a bit more of a production than Jared was expecting – Harley keeps getting underfoot while Jared tries to wrestle the stroller outside and Katelyn complains all the while that she's not a baby and doesn't need a stroller anymore.

“I know you're not a baby, Katie-cat. But this way, you won't get so tired so fast. Harley, move.” He nudges the dog out of the way with his knees and readjusts the stroller's angle to get one of the back wheels past the door jamb. As he clears the doorway, Harley makes to bolt into the yard, but Jared manages to catch him by the collar before he can leap. The dog gives a whimper, turning big brown eyes up at Jared that aren't all that dissimilar from his daughter's. “No,” he tells Harley, then gestures Katelyn outside. “Come here, kiddo.”

Katelyn heaves a sigh, but does as she's told, letting Jared lift her up and settle her into the stroller.

He goes back for Harley, snapping his leash to his collar, then double-checks his pocket for his house keys before locking the front door and closing it behind himself. With Harley's leash wrapped around his hand, he takes hold of the stroller's push bar and starts for the sidewalk.

There's a man jogging down the block across the street, gray shirt stained dark with sweat where it clings to his body. The flush of want Jared feels when looking at the man's well-defined muscles isn't exactly a surprise – it's been two years since Evan skipped out on him and Katelyn, too much of a coward to deal with their daughter's illness.

The guy across the street slows, stops outside the door of the gym where he hunches over with his hands on his knees, taking a moment's rest before standing back up and stretching, pulling his sweaty tee off to wipe his face with a dry patch near the hem. It's about then that Jared gets caught staring, the man – the ridiculously well-built man – glances up and they lock eyes.

Jared immediately averts his gaze and starts pushing the stroller again. He glances back when he gets to the corner of the block, but the guy's disappeared into the gym.

It takes nearly a month for Jared and Katelyn to fall into a routine: breakfast together at the table in the kitchen before Jared helps Katelyn get ready for school, then he drops her off and heads to his part-time job where he puts in four hours of work, and spends the rest of the afternoon doing homework for the accounting degree he's earning through online classes and looking for another job until he has to pick up Katelyn.

Only their evenings and weekends vary. After he picks up Katelyn from school, they head home and he helps her with _her_ homework. They'll take a walk if she's up to it, then have dinner, which is followed by bath time, story time, and bedtime.

Jared keeps to himself for the most part, spends most of his time not at work, at home or with Katelyn. Sometimes, on the weekends, they take Harley over to Aaron and Sarah's so Katelyn can play with their daughter, Abby. It's some of the only adult interaction Jared gets outside of work and Sarah's the one that brings focus to the subject.

“When's the last time you went out, Jay?” she asks, handing him a bottle of beer before settling in the patio chair next to her husband.

Jared shrugs, takes a sip of his beer. “I don't know. A while ago. Why?”

“Maybe next Friday you and Aaron can go out and Katie can come over for a girls' night in. It's about time you tried to move on, don't you think?”

“Easier said than done,” Jared tells her. “No alpha's gonna come near me when he finds out my situation and no omega's gonna want to raise somebody else's kid.”

“You don't know that. And there are plenty of other betas out there,” Aaron reasons.

“Doesn't change the fact that I'm a single dad.”

“ _Jared._ Just try to _meet_ people, okay? You don't have to be looking for a commitment right away,” Sarah says.

“I'll think about it.” Jared swigs his beer, watches Katelyn as she and Abby swing.

“Even if you're not out to meet people, it'll still be fun. I could call up Mark and Dan, have a guys' night?” Aaron sets his bottle down on the table and leans back in his chair.

“Yeah, I think just having to deal with you will be enough for one night,” Jared laughs.

“Whatever. Friday, then?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“It'll be fun,” Aaron says again. “We can check out the bars over in your neighborhood. Might meet some of your neighbors.”

Jared thinks about the runner he sees every now and then, the man that must live above and operate the gym for as often as he's there. Jared's been tempted to go over, introduce himself, see what the gym has to offer, but it's taking him a while to work up the nerve. Maybe once he's more acquainted with the neighborhood. He glances up at Aaron. “Yeah,” he says. “That'd be good.”

Jared's early dropping Katelyn off at Aaron and Sarah's – Aaron's just pulling into the driveway as they're getting out of his truck. “Had to stick around for mandatory overtime,” Aaron grumbles, following them up the front walk. “Just let me grab a quick shower, should be ready to go in fifteen.”

“No problem,” Jared says. He doesn't particularly care if it takes Aaron _three hours_ to get ready because he's still pretty uncertain about going out at all. “Take your time.”

Aaron just gives him a look and disappears down the main hallway once they're all inside. Abby skips through the living room over to where they stand and takes Katelyn's hand. “C'mon,” she says. “Let's play.”

Jared lingers in the small foyer for a moment longer, watching Sarah move around the kitchen as she prepares dinner before following after the girls. He finds them standing in front of the shelves of games with their hands on their hips as they debate the merits of _Candyland_ and _Chutes and Ladders._ “What about this one?” he asks, pulling _Mouse Trap_ out from underneath _Trouble._

Abby and Katelyn eye the box critically for a minute then turn to each other with matching shrugs. “Okay, Daddy,” Katelyn says. “Will you set it up for us?”

“Sure thing, baby girl.” Jared resorts to using the directions to put the game together, it's been a good decade or so since the last time he played it, but it doesn't take him long. Abby lets Katelyn choose her mouse first and she picks the green one, Abby taking the blue mouse out of the three left. Jared sets out the triangles of cheese and the die, explains the rules, and lets the girls go.

They get about halfway into the game before Aaron shows up in the doorway. “You ready to get out of here, man, or do you wanna hang out with the girls and let them paint your nails and braid your hair?”

Jared glances at the girls to make sure they're focused on the game and raises his middle finger to Aaron before climbing to his knees. “I'll see you in the morning, okay, Katie-cat?” He pushes her hair back from her face and kisses her forehead.

“Yup. Bye, Daddy. I love you.”

“Love you, too, baby girl.” He gets to his feet and follows Aaron to the front door where Sarah intercepts them.

“You're gonna have fun tonight,” Sarah tells Jared, with a hand on his arm. “You're gonna drink a few beers, eat some greasy bar food, and meet some people – if you want to. Meeting people isn't a requirement, but fun is.”

Jared smiles at her. “Okay. I'll have fun. Scout's honor.”

Aaron socks him in the shoulder. “You were never a boy scout.”

Jared shrugs and heads for the door. “Thanks for keeping Katie overnight. I'll pick her up in the morning around nine.”

“You're welcome. See you later.” Sarah leans up on her toes and kisses Aaron goodbye. “Remember: have fun.”

Jared salutes her. “Yes, Mom.”

Jared and Aaron end up at a slightly seedy bar four blocks over from Jared's house. The lit sign swinging over the door says 'Benji's Bar & Grill' and there are neon lights in the front windows advertising Budweiser and Miller Lite that reflect blue and red off the sleek paint jobs of the motorcycles parked out front.

They order a couple burger-and-fries baskets and nurse beers while they wait. The atmosphere is comfortable, a little more country-rockabilly than Jared's usual taste, but the music is decent, the bartender is friendly, and the food, when it arrives, is better than the usual bar fare. While they eat, they talk about work and their girls, who will be starting first grade in a couple of months, and Jared tells Aaron about his online classes and the endless search for another job.

After a couple of hours, they work themselves through more than a few rounds and Aaron excuses himself to the bathroom, leaving Jared at the bar with a bowl of mixed nuts for company. That's when their good night – or, at least, _Jared's_ – starts to go bad.

Aaron's barely been gone for a minute before a man settles on his vacated stool. He's tall, only an inch or two shorter than Jared, but he's heavily muscled, his scent the heavy, thick musk of an alpha. This is what Jared's been fearing all night – with Aaron by his side it was easy enough to blend in, but with his friend gone, Jared's own unmated beta scent is too noticeable. And the alphas in the room are definitely taking notice. Half a dozen pairs of eyes are on him and the man at his side is pressing much too close for comfort, invading his space. “What say we get out of here, huh?” the alpha asks, skimming a hand down Jared's thigh, tips of his fingers spanning out wide to trace the inseam of his jeans. “Take you back to my place.”

“I'm actually here with-” Jared starts, but is quickly interrupted.

“He's not your mate. Come on. Show you a real good time, baby.”

Jared snorts at that and climbs off his tool. “Yeah, I'm not interested, man.”

“Wasn't a request,” the asshole says, grabbing Jared's wrist and tugging him close enough Jared can smell the deepening darkness of the alpha's scent the angrier and more turned on he gets. His grip tightens and Jared can feel the hard line of the man's erection against his hip as he's crowded towards the door.

“Hey, man,” Jared begins to protest, trying to use his shoulder to shove the stronger man away, “back off. I'm not leaving with you.”

“Like I said, I'm not _asking._ ” He gives Jared a hard push that sends him stumbling.

“I said no.” Jared shoves back, feels the bones in his wrist grinding painfully, but the alpha still doesn't let go. He's wondering where the hell Aaron is when his back collides with something warm and solid.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing, James?” an angry voice says from over Jared's shoulder before he can apologize for running into the man. “Let him go.”

“You think this beta bitch is gonna bend over for you?” the alpha, James, laughs mockingly. “Right.”

“Back off.” The scent of the man behind Jared gets stronger, warmer, the woodsy, clean smell of it a shocking turn on. Jared cranes his neck around to see. Dark blonde hair, bright green eyes, plush mouth set in a menacing scowl.

“Or what, Ackles? What're you gonna do-” The fist to James' face stops him mid-sentence and makes him stagger backwards. He drops Jared's wrist, both hands going to his mouth, fingers coming away bloody. “You _fucker,_ ” he growls, lunging at the man behind Jared, at Ackles, the jogger Jared's surreptitiously been watching for a month. Jared gets his elbow up fast enough to nail James in the throat, leaving the man gasping and wheezing as Ackles grabs hold of his shoulder to bring him in close for a quick, low jab to his gut. James doubles over, arms curled around his stomach as he collapses to his knees. He glares up at Ackles, at Jared. “This- this ain't... over,” he grunts out.

Ackles ignores the alpha on the bar floor, jade eyes scanning Jared for visible injury. “You okay?” he asks, gaze snagging on Jared's wrist where it's blooming with red marks in the shape of James' fingertips.

“Yeah. I'm- I'll be fine. Thanks.” Jared's reaching out his hand so he can properly introduce himself when Aaron finally decides to return.

“Fucking line, man,” he grouses, appearing at Jared's side. He glances at Ackles, then down to James on the floor, then back over to Jared. “Damn. What'd I miss?”

“Not much,” Ackles says with a tight smile, “just an asshole getting put in his place.” He looks up at Jared. “I'll see you around.” With a pat to Jared's shoulder, Ackles steps over James' legs and heads outside.

Aaron is staring up at Jared with raised eyebrows when Jared can finally tear his eyes away from the screen door. “What?” he asks defensively.

Aaron just laughs. “Nothin'.” He slaps Jared's back before pushing him back towards their abandoned stools. “Barkeep! Two more!”

It's close to nine-thirty when Jared pulls into Aaron and Sarah's driveway behind Aaron's car. He and Aaron had stayed out late after the incident with the alpha and Jared's still feeling hungover from the kind of excessive drinking he hasn't done since before Katelyn was born. Climbing out of his truck, Jared stretches and yawns, tugs the sleeve of his lightweight shirt down over his wrist to hide the darkening bruises there. He walks up to the front door, knocks, and waits.

The door swings open to reveal Sarah with Katelyn on her hip. “Hi, Daddy,” Katelyn says, reaching out for him.

Jared takes his daughter in his arms and hugs her close as he enters the house. “Morning, Katie-cat. You have fun?”

“Uh huh,” she says with a vigorous nod. “Aunt Sarah painted my nails – see?” She wiggles her fingers, adorned with sparkly purple polish, in Jared's face before continuing on, “Then we had mac-n-cheese and ice cream and we watched _The Little Mermaid_ and we got a story 'fore bed and we had pancakes for breakfast and got to watch cartoons and Aunt Sarah made my hair pretty just like you do it, Daddy.”

Jared laughs, sharing a smile with Sarah. “Yes, she did. Those are very pretty braids.”

“Yep.” Katelyn presses a small hand against Jared's cheek and looks him in the eye. “Are we going home now?”

“Yep,” Jared answers with a kiss to her forehead before setting her down. “Why don't you go get your things together?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

Jared watches her disappear down the hall and turns back to Sarah. “Hope she wasn't too much of a handful.”

Sarah's still smiling at him. “Of course she wasn't. She was a perfect angel. They both were, actually. I was kind of surprised. They agreed on a movie, didn't argue before bed. They had fun. How was your night?”

“It was okay,” Jared tells her.

“Aaron told me about that alpha-”

“Yeah. It wasn't a big deal. Just some asshole.”

“Mm-hmm. And the guy that intervened on your behalf?” Her brows are arched with curiosity over her bright blue eyes. Sarah's smile widens into a grin when Jared starts to stammer out an explanation. “You get a name from Mr. Knight-in-Shining-Armor?”

Jared pauses long enough before he says, “No,” that Sarah's grin turns a little devious.

“Is this somebody you know?” she asks, reaching for his arm. “Don't hold out on me, Jay.”

Katelyn returns at that moment, little pink bag slung over her shoulder and Mr. Whiskers under her arm, saving Jared from having to answer. “I just need my shoes, Daddy,” she says, dropping to the floor in the entryway to pull on her miniature pink Vans. “Okay. I'm ready.”

“All right, baby girl. Did you say goodbye to Abby?” Katelyn nods, pulling the drawstring straps of her bag over her shoulder. “And what do you tell Aunt Sarah?”

“Thank you for lettin' me stay. I had lotsa fun.” Katelyn moves closer to Sarah and hold her arms up for a hug.

Sarah kisses the top of her head as she leans down and pulls Katelyn in for a squeeze. “You're welcome, Katie. I had lots of fun, too.”

Abby skips out of the living room like she did yesterday, thrusting a colorful drawing of Hello Kitty towards Katelyn. “Thanks for spendin' the night.”

Katelyn takes the drawing and smiles, awkwardly hugging Abby with Mr. Whiskers wedged between them. “Thank you.”

“We're not done here,” Sarah tells Jared when he takes Katelyn's hand and moves towards the door. “You hear me, Jared?”

Jared smirks at her. “I hear you. See you guys later. And thanks again.” He opens the door and leads Katelyn outside.

Sarah and Abby stand in the doorway and wave goodbye as Jared settles Katelyn in her car seat before sliding in behind the wheel. They wave back through the open windows of the truck as Jared backs out of the driveway and starts towards home.

It's not until Jared's parked in his own driveway and is unbuckling Katelyn from her car seat that he notices Ackles across the street. The man pauses in front of his gym, hands fisted on his hips as he glances up and down the street, waiting for a minivan to sputter past before crossing towards Jared. “Hey,” he says to Jared before turning a smile on Katelyn. “Hey, there. How are you?”

She glances up at Jared before looking back up at Ackles. “I'm okay. How are you?”

Ackles' smile widens, corners of his green eyes crinkling in the most attractive way. “I'm great.” He wipes his palm off on the mesh fabric of his shorts where it's loose on his thigh and offers his hand to Katelyn. “I'm Jensen.”

“Hi, Jensen,” Katelyn says politely, giving Jensen's hand a little shake. “I'm Katelyn. This is Mr. Whiskers,” she tells him, holding up her favorite stuffed animal, then she gestures towards Jared, “and this is Daddy.”

Jared flushes at that, holds out his own hand. “Jared, actually.” Jensen's hand is warm, firm, and slightly smaller than his own when he clasps it.

Jensen nods. “Jared. Nice to meet you. Officially.” He nudges Jared's shirtsleeve back to get a peek at the bruised skin of his wrist. “How are _you_?”

“Me?” Jared pulls his hand out of Jensen's and tugs his sleeve back into place. “I'm good.”

“No other problems last night?”

Jared glances down at Katelyn, smoothing his hand over her French braids, and giving her a smile. “No,” he tells Jensen, reaching for Katelyn's bag before lifting Katelyn from the car seat, “no other problems.”

“If James – or anybody else for that matter – does or says anything to you again-”

“I'm a grown man, Jensen,” Jared interrupts, closing the narrow rear door. “I can take care of myself.” He follows Katelyn to the front door, hoping that's the end of the conversation and that Jensen will just drop it, but the man is right behind him as he puts the key in the lock and opens the door. He hands Katelyn her bag. “Go check on Harley, baby girl. I'll be right there.”

“Okay, Daddy. Bye, Mr. Jensen,” she says with a big smile and a wave before disappearing into the house.

“Look,” Jensen says, standing tall, eyes earnest, “James is a special kind of asshole, in case you hadn't noticed. He's not the type to take no for an answer, if you know what I mean. Just. I'm right across the street.” He gestures at the gym behind him. “If he shows up or if you have any trouble with him, I'm not far. You got a cell phone? Let me give you my number.”

Jared sighs as he hands his phone over, maybe a little too quickly to appease Jensen because, aside from his obvious attraction to the man, he does have Katelyn to think about, too. If James does happen to show up, he doesn't want her caught in the middle or worse. “Thanks,” he says, taking his phone back.

“You're welcome.” Jensen stands there, two steps and a good foot below Jared, staring at him thoughtfully. “You should come over some time. Check out the gym.”

Jared nods. “Yeah. Some time. Maybe.”

Jensen smiles at that. “Okay. Well. I guess I'll see you later, Jared.”

Nodding again, Jared returns the smile. “Bye, Jensen.” He watches the man walk away, waits until he's halfway across the street before he heads inside to check on Katelyn and Harley.

The changing weather puts stress on Katelyn's fragile immune system; Jared keeps her inside as much as possible, lets her teacher at school know that she can't go out with the rest of the kids during recess because of the unseasonable damp cold and her susceptibility to getting sick. But his precautions don't really do much good because, only a few weeks after school starts, Katelyn's admitted to the Texas Children's Hospital for pneumonia.

After a double shift at work on day three of Katelyn's hospital stay, Jared returns home around six to a very restless Harley who dances and whines about his feet until Jared's changed into old sweats and pulls his leash off the hook by the front door. “We'll do a quick run, okay, boy? Then Daddy's gotta go visit Katelyn at the hospital.” He scratches behind Harley's ears as he opens the door then leads him outside.

The streetlights are on and Jared figures he's got maybe half an hour or so before the overcast sky above him goes completely dark. He notes that the lights in the gym are on and once again has to fight the urge to take Jensen up on his invitation. They've seen each other in passing a few times since they introduced themselves, but that's as far has Jared's been willing to let it go. He and Katelyn are barely settled in and now she's sick, so... Everything else kind of has to take a back seat.

“C'mon, Harley,” Jared says, giving a little tug on the leash. “Let's go, buddy.” He takes off down the street towards the Wheeler Avenue intersection where they take a left, the route leading them through a residential area far enough away from the more brightly lit business district so close to the house. He can let himself relax and focus on the sound of the soles of his shoes hitting the pavement and his and Harley's breathing.

It's full-on dark by the time Jared turns back onto their street, two blocks away from home. He slows his pace to a light jog, pauses at the tree along the curb in front of the house on the corner that Harley likes to mark as his own. They slow even further as they near the house and Jared realizes he failed to turn on the porch light when he sees a large, dark shadow lurking on the front steps. It's not difficult to figure out who it is or what his uninvited visitor wants.

But Jared's not afraid, doesn't detour across the street for Jensen's help even if he kind of promised he would if James harassed him again. Katelyn's waiting for him – they've got plans to watch _Lilo & Stitch_ before she goes to bed.

“You need to leave,” Jared says, wrapping Harley's leash around his hand to shorten it when the loyal dog senses Jared's burgeoning distress and growls lowly at the man invading his territory.

“I'll leave when I've gotten what I came for,” James replies, stalking down the sidewalk towards Jared.

Harley's hackles are raised and he barks sharply, straining against his collar hard enough to make himself choke and cough. “I'm not interested. You need to back off.” He can smell James' arousal, how much he's getting off on riling Jared up, on asserting his alpha status, his authority.

“Don't care if you're interested. _I_ am.”

Harley lunges when James advances. “Stay, Harley,” Jared commands. The last thing he needs right now is for Harley to attack this asshole and have charges filed against him or worse. “Seriously,” he says to James, “you need to go. Now.”

“I don't think so.” James crosses the short distance between himself and Jared faster than Jared anticipates. They tumble down to the damp grass of the lawn before Jared can react, Harley snarling and growling in the background, a warning bark getting cut off by a hollow thump and a whimper a moment later.

“Harley!” Jared tries to maneuver out from underneath James' solid weight to see what's happened to his now silent dog, but James is stronger and heavier than he is, has his hands pinned behind his back as he digs into Jared's pocket for his house keys. It's a hopeless feeling, being held down and unable to do a thing to stop the alpha straddling the back of his thighs, bearing down on him. “Please,” Jared begs, unable to cling to his pride any longer. “Don't.”

“I can smell you, beta. Need to belong to somebody. And I'll take _real_ good care of ya.” James shifts his knees wider, grinds the hard bulge of his erection against Jared's ass. “Gonna be so good to you, baby.”

Jensen was right. James isn't going to take no for an answer, no matter what Jared says to him, if he begs for him to stop. This is going to happen whether he wants it to or not. He struggles with a renewed effort, tries to use his left shoulder for leverage and arches his back the best he can to buck James off of him. But the alpha is solid, anticipates the movement and easily shifts with him.

James laughs loudly. “Don't be like that, baby,” he cajoles, the hand pinning Jared's wrists to the small of his back pressing hard as James climbs off of him. “C'mon. Let's take this inside.”

Jared's face is still buried in the grass of his lawn, muscles in his shoulders protesting the way his arms are bent behind him, when the steady _slap, slap, slap_ of rubber soles on pavement becomes increasingly loud as a runner nears them. “Help!” he shouts, wrenching out of James' hold when the alpha's grip relaxes in his distraction at the sound of the approaching runner.

“Fuck,” James grunts before Jensen is crashing into him, shoulder dropped low enough to catch James in the chest.

The two alphas hit the ground behind Jared and it's quickly apparent that James is rather ill-equipped in a fight against Jensen. Jared crawls across the grass to Harley's side where the dog is curled in on himself, loosing a whimper when Jared's strokes a tentative hand down his side and over his flank. “Hey, boy,” Jared whispers into the soft fur on top of Harley's head between his ears, “You're okay. You're gonna be okay.”

It's only been a matter of seconds, a minute or two at most, since Jensen slammed into James at full speed, but the fight's already over, the two men silent save for Jensen's harsh breathing. “You all right?” he asks, climbing up off of James' limp body.

Jared nods. “Yeah. I think so. But Harley's- He's hurt and- and I've gotta get to the hospital. I've gotta call-”

“Hospital? You just said-”

“No, not for me. Katelyn's sick again,” he explains distractedly, trying to figure out what he's going to do. He's got to get Harley to a vet and he has to get himself to the hospital – he was already running late enough as it is.

“Look. Go get cleaned up, make your calls. I'll call the police about him.” Jensen juts his chin over to James. “Then we can get Harley into the back of your truck. I think there's a twenty-four hour vet over on Monroe.” He fishes his phone out of his pocket and starts dialing.

“I'll be right back, boy,” Jared tells Harley with one more scratch behind his ears. He climbs up off the ground and crosses over to where Jensen is kneeling next to an unconscious James. “He took my keys,” he explains, stooping down to search the grass around where the alphas scuffled.

Jensen nods, gives his name and Jared's address to the officer or whoever he's talking to on the phone.

Jared takes a perfunctory shower and dresses in the first clean t-shirt and pair of jeans he comes across. There's a squad car with lights flashing parked behind his truck in the driveway when he gets back outside not even ten minutes later. James is awake, cuffed and being read his rights as an officer guides him over to the waiting squad car. Another officer is talking to Jensen, who's down on his knees next to Harley. “He had him pinned down to the ground and Jared was calling out for help. So I helped. And, like I said, it's not the first time James has tried to force himself on Jared.”

The officer glances up at Jared. “I’m going to need your statement as well.”

“I just told you,” Jensen says, voice low, brooking no argument. “His daughter's in the hospital and his dog's injured. He's got bigger things to worry about right now. You've got enough with my statement to at least keep James overnight.”

The officer nods, peeks at Jensen out of the corner of his eye before looking up at Jared again. “Okay. But I need to get your name and phone number, sir. And you'll need to come down to the station at your earliest convenience to give your statement.”

“Yeah. Of course, sure.” As soon as Jared finishes giving the officer his cell number, Jensen's at his side.

“You've got everything you need,” Jensen tells the young officer. “Come on Jared.” The cruiser's gone, by the time they've got Harley into the bed of Jared's truck. “You stay back here with Harley. I'll get you to the vet,” he tells Jared, closing the tailgate. “Then I'll take you to the hospital.”

Jared doesn't argue, just hands off his keys to Jensen. “Thanks,” he says. “For everything.”

Jensen curls his fingers around Jared's hand as he takes the keys. “You're welcome, Jared.”

Jensen is sitting in one of the plastic chairs next to a table covered with a variety of outdated magazines with his cell phone in one hand and a paper cup of coffee in the other when Jared drags himself into the waiting room down the hall from Katelyn's room. “I just talked to the vet,” he tells Jared, gesturing vaguely with his phone. “Harley's got a couple of fractured ribs, but he'll be fine. We can pick him up on the way back.”

Jared drops into the chair next to him. “I know I've already said this, but thank you.”

Jensen nods, his smile bringing out the laugh lines at the corners of his eyes. “You're welcome. Again. How's Katelyn?”

Sighing, Jared scrubs his hands over his face. “She's okay. They're going to keep her for a couple more days.”

Jensen nods again, shifts close enough their arms touch. “How are _you_?”

“I'm good.” It's mostly the truth. In all honesty, he's exhausted and worried and feels like he's at his wit's end. And part of him wonders if his well-being is going to be brought up during every conversation they have.

“With everything that you've been through lately... Jared, it's okay if you're not.”

“I- I am.”

“Well, you don't look it, man,” Jensen says, slapping Jared's knee as he stands. “Let's go get Harley and get you home.”

Jared climbs to his feet. “Yeah. Okay.” He follows Jensen out into the hallway and towards the elevator bank. He's got more than a few questions for the alpha, why he's being so nice and how he was able to come to Jared's aid so quickly being at the top of the list, but he's too grateful to voice them. He has an idea, maybe. A vague hope that makes heat curl low in his gut. Perhaps Jensen's attracted to him, too. It would explain a lot of his behavior. This would definitely be a different approach to courting compared to the other alphas Jared's encountered since Evan split. If that's even what this is. He glances at Jensen as they enter the elevator car, Jensen thumbing the button for the first floor and leaning against one smudged, mirrored wall.

“You had dinner yet?” Jensen asks when the doors slide open. He glances back at Jared over his shoulder as he steps out.

“Uh, no. I worked late and went for a run as soon as I got home.” A lot's happened in the past few hours that's kept him busy enough to ignore the emptiness of his stomach. He can feel it now that Jensen's mentioned food, though. The foot-long Italian sub he had for lunch from the deli across the street from the shop around eleven was the last thing he had to eat.

“Want to grab something on the way back?” He jingles Jared's keys in his hand as they cross the parking lot, stops behind the truck to turn to Jared.

“Actually... I was thawing out some hamburger for spaghetti,” Jared tells Jensen's scuffed Pumas. “Why, um, why don't you come over?”

“You sure?”

Gaze darting back up to Jensen's face, Jared nods. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” he says, giving Jared a stomach-fluttering smile as he passes the truck keys over. “I'd like that.”

Jared drops a handful of thick spaghetti into the boiling pot of water on the stove and stirs the browning hamburger in the skillet on the other front burner. Behind him at the small kitchen table, Jensen's nursing a bottle of Shiner Bock with Harley resting contentedly at his feet.

“Can I ask you something?” Jensen says after a stretch of comfortable silence.

Jared pushes the hamburger around a little more, twists the lid off the jar of spaghetti sauce and adds it to the meat. “Sure.” He gives the noodles a stir before turning around to face Jensen.

“You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but... I was curious about Katelyn's...” Jensen trails off, making a face before continuing with, “other parent?”

Jared nods. “Evan, her birth father, is an omega. He left a couple of years ago when Katelyn got sick. Just... couldn't deal with it,” he shrugs. For the first few months after Evan left, Jared gave him the benefit of a doubt, thought he maybe blamed himself, that he was just scared. But Evan was only thinking about himself, couldn't handle the stress of the fear, the idea of losing their kid. He was a coward that couldn't stick it out and bailed.

“She's okay, right?”

Jared nods again. “Yeah. She was born with a congenital heart defect. We first realized something was wrong just before she turned four. She had trouble catching her breath sometimes. It was just this little thing, but I knew something was wrong, you know? Evan- He wasn't worried, but I kept at him. She ended up having surgery a month after her birthday. Her immune system hasn't been the same since. She had pericarditis a little over a year ago and this is her second time catching pneumonia since then.”

“Jeez,” Jensen sighs, setting his bottle down and looking up at Jared with a shake of his head. “And you've gone through it all alone?”

“Evan left around the time of her surgery, but Aaron – the friend I was with at the bar that night – and his wife, Sarah, have been there for me.”

“What about your family?”

“I left home when I was eighteen, after I met Evan. My parents didn't exactly approve of us being together. Katelyn came along less than a year after that. They don't even know about her.”

“I'm sorry.”

Jared turns around, checks on the pasta which is perfectly al dente. “I'm not. If we'd gotten along, I never would've left and I wouldn't have Katelyn. Sure, it's a struggle sometimes, being a single parent, but she's the best thing that's ever happened to me.” He pulls the pot off the heat and dumps the pasta into the strainer waiting in the sink. After turning both burners off, he returns the spaghetti to the pot and scrapes the sauce and hamburger in as well, mixing it all together with a pair of tongs.

Jensen's chair squeaks as the wooden feet slide across the wooden floor when he stands. “Jared?”

“I forgot to get French bread when I got groceries – is bread and butter fine?”

“Jared,” Jensen tries again from much closer, one of his hands tentatively settling in the middle of Jared's back as the other closes over Jared's left wrist. “Look at me?”

Jared sets the tongs down on the spoon holder between the burners and looks up at Jensen through the fall of his bangs.

“Christ, Jared. You're _amazing._ ”

“I'm just a guy.”

“No. You're a _dad._ A ridiculously good-looking, charming, kind, brave dad. And a million other things I haven't learned yet. You have no idea how attractive you really are. I mean, your body is one thing,” his gaze travels down Jared's chest and back up to his face at the comment, “but your _heart._ The way you are with your daughter, the way you talk about her?” Green eyes wide and bright under the incandescent lights, he shakes his head slowly before he's leaning in, closing the distance between them. “Tell me to stop and I will.”

Jared will do no such thing, surges forward and claims Jensen's soft mouth before the alpha can second-guess himself and back away. Jensen's hands are immediately on Jared's hips, fingers curled in the thin fabric keeping them close. “Dinner can wait,” Jared mumbles against Jensen's lips, guiding him backwards out of the kitchen, around Harley, and into the hall. They stumble through Jared's bedroom door, fumbling in the dark as they pull at each other's clothes, trying to get undressed without breaking their kiss. They're both shirtless, Jared halfway out of his pants when he tears himself away from Jensen long enough to turn on the lamp beside his bed. Jensen's a sight before him, the definition of his pecs and abs obvious even in the dim light. Jared's struck breathless for a moment; Jensen standing there in low-slung boxer-briefs looking more beautiful than a real-life statue of David.

Jensen takes his sudden stillness as hesitation, halting in his steps a couple of feet away. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

In response, Jared just shoves his open jeans and underwear down his thighs, kicking out of the material before reaching for the elastic waistband of Jensen's black jockeys. He crushes their mouths together, slides his hands down Jensen's back, curling his fingers around the taut globes of Jensen's ass, and begs, “ _Please?_ ”

Jared's shocked by Jensen's utter lack of aggression. His touches are gentle and tentative, callused hands ghosting across his skin, and his lips are soft, kisses sweet with the slightest possessive edge in the nip of teeth. It feels more like making love than a one night stand when the alpha spreads him out on his bed and lays a trail of open-mouthed kisses down his throat, across his chest, over his ribs, and lower. Evan was never this... reverent with him.

Jensen settles between Jared's knees, kisses the sensitive flesh of the insides of his thighs, scrapes his blunt teeth along the crease from hip to groin that guides his mouth right to where Jared needs it. Jared gasps when Jensen's lips wrap around the leaking head of his cock, swipe of rough tongue and gentle pressure of suction as Jensen tastes him, humming low as his hands skim over the downy hair on Jared's legs, fingertips pressing in as his mouth sinks down to swallow Jared whole.

Jared reaches down, drags his fingers through Jensen's short hair, just touching, not trying to hold him in place or guide him in any way. His breath comes in little stuttered pants, matches the erratic thrum of his heartbeat when two of Jensen's fingers slot into his mouth alongside Jared's dick before the spit-slick digits trail over his perineum and back to his tight, clenching hole. Jared hasn't been touched like this, by himself much less anybody else, in a long time. He takes a deep breath and focuses on Jensen's mouth on his cock as he tries to relax against the intrusion of Jensen's index finger.

The hand around the base of Jared's dick slides up over his stomach, fingers splayed wide, thumb stroking gently, soothing, as Jensen works that one finger in and out of him. He brings his knees up higher, moves his feet closer so he opens himself up wider and gives himself better leverage to rock down onto Jensen's fingers as one becomes two that scissor and stretch him wider until Jared can take three.

Jensen pulls off with a quiet, wet _pop_ , left hand going back to fist Jared's dick loosely, then he's withdrawing his other hand and moving up the bed, biting at Jared's nipples and collarbone before claiming his mouth in a slow, deep kiss. “You got lube?” he asks, voice gravel-rough from how deep he held Jared in his throat.

“Yeah,” Jared nods, flinging his arm out towards the nightstand. “In the drawer. It's- it's pretty old, but it should still be good.” He's kind of embarrassed by the fact that his lube is expired because it's proof of how long it's been since he's been with anyone. But, judging by the look on Jensen's face, his flushed cheeks and lust-dark eyes, it's of no matter.

Jensen stretches over the edge of the bed to pull open the drawer, finding the lube easily enough but continues to shuffle around the meager contents. “Condoms?”

Jared shakes his head. “I haven't- not in a long time. But it's- it's okay. I'm clean. First thing tomorrow-”

Jensen crushes his mouth to Jared's again. “Me, too,” he says, lips catching and dragging against Jared's. “Are you sure?”

Jared curls one hand around the back of Jensen's neck while the other slides down the alpha's back to palm one firm ass cheek as he rocks his body up off the mattress. “ _Yes._ ”

“Okay,” Jensen says, nodding, nipping at Jared's jawline. “Okay. Just- just this one time. Next time...”

Jared interrupts Jensen with another kiss, firm hand on the back of Jensen's head guiding him into place. “Next time,” he promises.

Jensen reluctantly pulls away, sits back on his heels to slick himself with lube, fingers smearing the excess across and into Jared's hole. With one hand on his cock and the other on the back of one of Jared's thighs to hold him open, Jensen leans down, presses the blunt head of his dick to Jared's opening until he sinks past the tight ring of muscle and deeper.

They groan together as Jensen fills him, legs wrapping around Jensen's waist as he covers Jared's body with his own, mouths meeting like they're magnetized. Jared clutches at Jensen's back, short-bitten nails digging into rippling muscle as he cries out and arches up against Jensen, slow drag of his aching cock over the smooth plane of Jensen's lower stomach. “Please,” Jared nearly whimpers, locking his legs tighter around Jensen's hips. “ _Please._ ”

Jensen growls into his ear and Jared can feel the flare of his nostrils and the deep breath he takes as their mingled scent becomes darker and heavier. Feels a pressure and tightness at his hole as Jensen's deep thrusts become slow and grinding. “Jared,” he moans, trying to pull away, trying to loosen Jared's hold on him. “'s too much. 'm gonna- Jay, _please._ I can't.”

“No,” Jared argues breathlessly, crossing his ankles and locking his legs in place. “You can. Want you to.” He shouldn't want it, though. This is reckless, dangerous. It's playing with fire. But Jared can't care. There's something _here,_ something he's never felt before, and he doesn't want to lose it.

“Jared,” Jensen breathes, forehead pressed to Jared's temple. “Tell me to stop.”

Jared just shakes his head, rolls his hips and feels the flare of Jensen's knot stretch him wider than anything he's ever felt. “Oh. Oh, God,” he gasps, seeking out Jensen's mouth, biting at his full lower lip before Jensen's taking over the kiss, tongue plunging deep. The first drag of Jensen's thick knot over his prostate has Jared coming hard, virtually untouched save for the bit of friction he's found against the sweat-slick skin of Jensen's stomach.

One of Jensen's hands clamps tight on Jared's hip as he rides out Jared's orgasm, the flutter of the hot, slick muscles around his own cock that tease him and urge him closer to his own release. “Jared,” he whispers, like a benediction, like that same sense of wonder, of disbelief, is coursing through his own veins just like it is Jared's. The feeling of _right_ , of _home._

A couple more shallow thrusts and Jared feels Jensen stiffen above him, feels the heat of Jensen's seed spilling into him. He relaxes his legs, plants his feet on the mattress to cradle Jensen between his thighs when the alpha gracelessly collapses against his chest. They trade lazy kisses in that position for a while until Jensen lifts himself off of Jared's body enough to carefully maneuver them around so they're spooning, tucked together with Jensen snug against Jared's back, arms wrapped possessively around him. Jared covers Jensen's hands on his chest with his own when Jensen noses at the back of his neck. They doze, wrapped around each other, for a long time even after Jensen's gone soft, knot shrunk down to nothing.

Jared's stomach growls loudly in the silence of his bedroom causing Jensen to huff out a laugh against the side of his neck. He presses a kiss there, against the thin, sensitive patch of skin just below his ear, and sits up, staying close. Jensen leans over the side of the bed to reach for his discarded underwear, using them to clean their dried come from their bodies as best he can.

“Could just take a shower,” Jared offers, rolling over onto his back, stilling Jensen with a hand on his wrist.

Jensen sucks his bottom lip into his mouth as he thinks, teeth scraping over the flesh as he releases it. “Just a quick one,” he tells Jared with a smile.

“Mm,” Jared hums, leaning up on an elbow to press a chaste, closed-mouth kiss to Jensen's full lips. “Real quick.”

Of course, a quick wash and rinse in the tight confines of Jared's shower promptly becomes a heated make out session that results in a second, embarrassingly fast orgasm for Jared. He follows Jensen out of the tub on rubbery legs, dries off when he's again capable of unassisted motion, then leads Jensen back down to his room where he gets dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. A glance up at Jensen shows the alpha stepping into his jeans and pulling them up his legs, but that's not what Jared wants. He riffles through his drawer for the snug pair of sweatpants he's been holding onto for a long while and tosses them at Jensen. The corner of the alpha's mouth quirks up in a half-smile. “Is this your not-so-subtle way of asking me to stay?”

“Uh-uh,” Jared says with a shake of his head, crossing the distance between them. “It's my way of _telling_ you.”

Jensen grins at that, curved lips pressing against Jared's before he's reaching out to take Jared's hand, twining their fingers together. “Okay, then. Come on and let's eat before your stomach starts digesting itself.”

Jared laughs and squeezes Jensen's hand, follows him down the hall to the kitchen. Harley's still sprawled on the floor next to Jensen's abandoned chair and he cocks his head in a questioning manner as they enter the room. “What?” Jared asks the dog, to which Harley gives a chuffing bark in reply.

Jensen settles back in his chair and scratches behind Harley's ears as Jared turns the burner under the pan of spaghetti back on. It doesn't take long to reheat the pasta and Jared butters a couple pieces of bread in the meantime.

As they sit across from each other at the small table in Jared's kitchen, Harley at their feet, Jared thinks he could get used to this.

Jared wakes slowly. He's warm, content, and well-rested, and he doesn't want to move. But Harley's nosing at the bottom of his foot that's not covered by the blanket he and Jensen are wrapped up in. “Five more minutes,” he tells Harley, nudging at the dog's head with his toes and pulling his foot back under the covers.

Jensen's arms tighten around him as he makes a sound of disapproval. “Not leaving this bed,” he grumbles, burying his face in Jared's hair and sighing.

“Gotta let Harley out,” Jared says against Jensen's chest, relishing the feeling of being held by the man. He hasn't been this comfortable in longer than he can remember. Shifting, his thigh slots between Jensen's, hip nudging the half-hardness of the alpha's morning wood.

“Mm,” Jensen sighs, lifting his hips, hands sliding down Jared's back to clutch at his ass, gentle tip of one finger seeking out his still-slick hole.

Jared spreads his legs wider to give Jensen's probing finger better access, leaning on an elbow to stretch up to reach Jensen's mouth with his own. “Really think you can get it up again, old man?”

Laughing, Jensen rocks up against Jared's thigh. “Hurry back and I'll show you.”

Jared moans into their kiss as Jensen's finger sinks deep enough to graze his prostate. “You're gonna kill me.”

“'s the last thing I want.” He bites at Jared's lip, drags his hands away from Jared's ass, and kisses him soundly. “Go let Harley out and get back here.”

Jared huffs out a breath and kisses Jensen again. “Don't move.”

“Not going anywhere,” Jensen promises with a smile.

“Good.” Jared pushes back the blanket and reaches for the sweats he left on the floor the night before. Harley barks excitedly and dances around his feet as he tugs on the hoodie on the top of the pile in his laundry basket. At the doorway, he glances back at Jensen, still sprawled out in his bed. It's an amazing sight. “Ten minutes.”

Harley sits at the back door, tail thumping against the kitchen floor as he waits. He slowly climbs to his feet as soon as Jared comes into view, tail lazily wagging.

“I know, buddy. You really gotta go, huh?”

Harley barks in response as Jared opens the door to let him out and slips through the gap once it's wide enough. He sniffs around the yard a few times and Jared leaves him to it while he refills Harley's food and water bowls. When Jared opens the door to let him back in, it's obvious just how hurt the dog is from the way he's moving.

“Poor boy,” Jared says, kneeling down next to Harley once he's back inside and scratching at his head. “You're gonna be okay.” Harley snorts and ducks Jared's hand to lap at his water. Jared trails a gentle hand down the dog's back and stands, moving to the sink to wash his hands and fill the glass carafe to start a pot of coffee.

Jensen's sitting up in bed when Jared enters his room, pulling the door closed behind himself. “You coming back to bed?”

Reaching over his shoulder, Jared grabs a hold of his sweatshirt behind his shoulder blades and tugs the hoodie over his head, moving towards Jensen. “Yeah. Got time to go again before I've gotta get ready for work.” He shucks his sweatpants and climbs onto the mattress, straddling Jensen's lap.

“You gotta work late?” Jensen asks, kissing at Jared's throat as he pulls at the sheet until there's nothing between them and palms Jared's ass.

“Should be home by six, but I want to go up to the hospital and spend some time with Katie.” He rises up on his knees, lets Jensen's fingers press into him, spread him open. “Need to go into the police station and give my statement about last night, too.”

“Could've torn that fucker apart,” Jensen growls. “Forcing himself on you like that...” He surges up and kisses Jared hard, head of his dick nudging at Jared's hole.

With a gasp, Jared sinks down onto Jensen's cock, fingers of one hand curling into Jensen's hair while the others wrap around his own dick. “Christ,” he moans, slowly riding Jensen. “Love how you feel inside me.”

“Fuck, Jared.” Jensen's hands tighten on Jared's hips as he rolls them over, grinding up into Jared slow and hard. “God, can't get enough of you.”

Jared wraps his legs around Jensen's hips and rocks into his thrusts. He knows exactly how Jensen feels – he could have this every day for the rest of his life and it might not be enough. He doesn't want to give this up, ever, but he doesn't know what Jensen wants _besides_ this. It's hard to believe that he's just in it for the sex. The way he touches Jared, the look in his eyes when their gazes meet, Jared knows there's more. But he doesn't know what that means. He knows what he _wants_ it to mean, but they barely know each other and he doesn't know how Katelyn will react to Jensen or if Jensen's even on the same page. Right now, though, all he can focus on is the slow drag of Jensen's thick cock in and out of him, the pressure of his knot as it nudges past the ring of muscle at his hole. He opens his mouth wide on a ragged breath, feels Jensen's tongue slide against his in a deep, searching kiss.

“Don't even know what you do to me,” Jensen whispers before claiming Jared's mouth in another toe-curling kiss as he brushes sweat-damp hair back from Jared's face. He pulls back to look Jared in the eye, keeping up the excruciatingly lazy grind of his hips. His gaze only falters when he's close, the stutter of his nearly nonexistent pace giving away his impending orgasm, but he keeps his eyes open, reaches between them to make sure Jared comes before him.

After, they lay together, side by side, still tangled around each other until Jared absolutely has to get up. “I started a pot of coffee earlier,” he tells Jensen as he finally climbs out of bed. “You wanna grab a cup while I shower?”

Jensen stands and moves over to where Jared is going through his dresser for clothes. “Not gonna invite me to join you?” he asks and presses a kiss to one of Jared's shoulders.

“Not if I want to be on time to work,” he laughs.

“Rain check?”

“Definitely.” He turns and kisses Jensen. “I'll be out in a few.”

Jensen's dressed in his clothes from yesterday and leaning up against the counter, sipping a cup of coffee with Harley at his feet when Jared enters the kitchen. “You want a cup?”

“I'll just have a sip of yours,” Jared says, reaching for the mug and taking a drink. They pass it back and forth until it's empty and share a coffee-flavored kiss before Jared sets it in the sink.

Jensen follows him outside when he leaves and they stand outside the door on the steps together. “So, I'll see you tonight?”

Jared nods. “Absolutely.” Then he leans in and kisses Jensen. “I'll see you later.”

“Have a good day, Jared.” With a wave and a smile, Jensen leaves him there on the steps. Jared lets a smile tug at his own lips and feels like his day could only have started better if Katie was home and healthy and Harley were okay.

Jared's always one of the first parents to arrive outside the school before the bell rings at the end of the day. He parks at the end of the block and walks up to the blacktop where the buses wait for the kids that live a little further away in the district, and hovers near the chainlink fence for Katelyn. She's usually got a smile for him as soon as her eyes find his face in the crowd of other adults, but today, that's not the case. Her little mouth is turned down in a pout, bottom lip sticking out, and her shoulders are slumped. Jared pulls her up onto his hip as soon as she reaches him. “What's wrong, Katie-cat?”

The corner of her mouth trembles as she palms the hair that's in her face and swipes it out of the way with a little huff. “I don't wanna be sick anymore.”

“I know, baby,” Jared tells her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “You're getting better and better every day.”

“But if I wasn't sick,” she starts with a shaky breath, “I could go tricker treating with Abby.” Then her whole little chin quivers, teary eyes finally rising to meet Jared's. “I want to dress up and- and get candy.”

Jared hugs her close as he walks back to the truck, feels his heart clench a little in his chest at how unfair it is that Katelyn can't do a lot of the things normal, healthy kids can. “How 'bout I check the weather for Sunday when we get home, huh? If it's not gonna be too cold, maybe we could go for a little bit.”

Katelyn snuggles her damp face against his neck and lets out a hot breath. “But I don't have a costume.”

“I'm sure we can find something.”

“Yeah?” she asks hopefully, leaning back, looking at him with wet, red-rimmed eyes.

Jared smiles at her and kisses her forehead. “Of course, Katie-cat.”

As with every Friday for the past month and a half, Jensen knocks on the door at six-thirty with a large pizza in one hand and a six-pack of grape soda in the other. Katelyn's up off the living room floor and pulling open the door before Jared can get his laptop onto the coffee table. “Hi, Jensen,” she says with a wide smile. “I get to go tricker treating.”

“That's great, kiddo,” Jensen tells her as he enters the living room and pushes the door closed with his heel. “What're you gonna dress up as?”

Katelyn shrugs. “Don't know yet. Daddy said I can't be a princess 'cause it'll be too cold.”

“Maybe you could go as a kitty,” he suggests, bumping her nose with a knuckle of the hand holding the chipboard container of bottles. “Put some whiskers on you and a couple of ears. Make you look just like Mr. Whiskers.”

“Could I, Daddy?” Katelyn asks with wide eyes, jumping up onto the couch next to Jared. “Could I be a kitty like Mr. Whiskers?”

Jared smiles up at Jensen as he pulls Katelyn into his lap and stands with her, following Jensen into the kitchen. “Sure, baby girl, if that's what you want.”

“Could Mr. Whiskers come with me if I'm a kitty for Halloween?”

“Of course.” He settles her in a chair and moves over to the counter to get a cup for her soda while Jensen puts slices of pizza onto three plates. “Hey,” he says to Jensen, tamping down the urge to kiss the man, “how was your day?”

“Busy, but good,” Jensen tells him, moving the plates to the table. “What about you?”

“Same here. Finished up the engine on that Chevy, picked up Katie, got some homework done.”

“What about you, Katie?” Jensen asks, folding a paper towel and tucking it under the edge of her plate. “How was school?”

“It was okay. Miss Bickford was sick so we had a subsi- subsis-”

“Substitute?”

“Yeah. And we watched the Charlie Brown Halloween movie and made jackal lanterns.” She peels a piece of pepperoni off her slice of pizza and regards Jensen with a curious gaze at he sits down across from her. “Will you come with us when we go tricker treating?”

“I'm sure Jensen's busy, baby,” Jared says, taking a seat beside her and setting a cup of soda on the table next to her plate.

“Of course I'm not,” he tells Jared before turning back to Katelyn. “I don't have to dress up, do I?”

“No,” Katelyn giggles. “Dressin' up's just for kids.”

“Oh.” He looks back at Jared. “Would that be okay?”

It's strange, Jared thinks, to see the hesitancy in Jensen's eyes. Like Jared could possibly turn him down. “Yeah. If you're sure you want to come with.”

“Sounds like fun.”

Jared and Katelyn spend over an hour of Saturday morning looking for a cat costume in the racks at Walmart that looks like Mr. Whiskers, but striped purple cats must not be very popular. “Maybe we could make you something? Unless there's something else here you like?”

Katelyn makes a face and shrugs. “I dunno.”

“Here's a black and white kitty.”

She shakes her head.

“How about a lion?”

Another shake.

“A ladybug?”

“No,” she says, playing with a sparkly purple pair of fairy wings.

“Do you see _anything_ you like, Katie-cat?”

Katelyn shrugs again, trails her hand along the costume hangers as she walks down the aisle. She stops when something catches her eye. She pulls the costume from the rack. “What about this one, Daddy?”

It's some kind of ballerina cat if the picture on the front is anything to go by. There's a fluffy pink and black skirt and a little black shirt with pink ribbons criss-crossed on the front and ruffled pink shoulders. He figures she's got a long-sleeved pink shirt and black leggings she can wear under it to keep warm. “You sure that's what you want, baby girl?”

The expression on her face turns serious as she gives the costume another look, then she nods.

“Okay. Now, let's see if we can find the makeup so we can give you whiskers and a nose.”

Katelyn wrinkles her own nose but takes Jared's hand when he holds it out for hers.

Trick-or-treating starts at four o'clock on Sunday afternoon and Jared's supposed to have Katelyn over at Aaron and Sarah's by ten till. Jensen's already waiting outside when Jared opens the door at three-thirty. “Hey, there, Katie-cat,” Jensen says with a wide smile, crouching down to Katelyn's level. “Are you excited?”

Katelyn nods. “Do you like my costume?”

“Yes, I do. It's very pretty.”

“Thank you,” she says with a grin before reaching for his hand. “Daddy says I have to share my candy. Do you like peanut M&M's? I don't. So if I get any, you can have 'em, okay?”

Jared shares a smile with Jensen as he reaches them and opens the back door of the truck to get Katelyn settled in her car seat. “Peanut M&M's are my favorite,” Jensen tells her. “I'd like it a lot if you shared them with me. Thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

Jared straps her into her seat and closes the door, clutching the front of Jensen's shirt and pulling him in for a kiss before he can move around to the other side of the truck. “You're so amazing with her.”

“She's a pretty amazing kid, Jay.”

Jared just kisses him, then kisses him again so those three words it's way too early to say don't spill from his lips. “C'mon. Let's go before I make us late.”

“Yeah. I'd hate to hold up Katie's first time trick-or-treating.”

“She'd never forgive me.”

“Yes, she would.” Jensen gives him another kiss and smiles as he steps away to round the truck.

When they get to Aaron and Sarah's ten minutes later, kids and their parents are already taking to the sidewalks. As soon as Jared gets Katelyn out of her car seat and down on the ground, she's running over to Abby, who's dressed up like one of the latest Disney princesses with a bright red wig and a long green dress. Jared shoves his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for Jensen as they approach Aaron and Sarah. “Hey, guys,” he says. “This is Jensen. Jensen, this is Aaron and Sarah and their daughter Abby.”

“I've heard a lot about you all,” Jensen says, holding his hand out to Aaron who shakes it before sending a smirk in Jared's direction.

“I've heard a lot about you, too,” Aaron says, letting go of Jensen's hand. “It's nice to finally meet you.”

“You, too.” Jensen reaches out for Sarah next and shakes her hand as well.

“Can we go now, Daddy?” Katelyn interrupts, tugging at Jared's sleeve.

“Sure, baby,” Jared says, straightening out her cat-ear headband.

“I'll see you guys when you get back,” Aaron tells them. He kisses Sarah before leaning down to give Abby one, too. “Listen to your mom, okay?”

“I will.” She skips over to Katelyn and takes her hand, moving towards the front walk. “C'mon, Mommy.”

“I'm coming.” Sarah gives Jared a smile and squeezes his arm as she passes. “You heard the girl. Let's go.”

Katelyn manages to make it the agreed-upon two hours and they start back to Aaron and Sarah's a little after six. Jared ends up carrying her, and Jensen her candy, and she's nearly asleep on Jared's shoulder after the five block walk.

“You guys wanna stay for dinner?” Sarah asks when they reach her front yard.

Jared looks down at Katelyn, drawn-on nose and whiskers smudged on her face. “Another night?”

“Yeah, Jay. Absolutely. Katie looks like she's just ready to crash.”

“It's probably gonna be a quick bath, and pancakes for dinner, then right to bed.”

“Maybe this weekend? And you can bring Jensen.”

Jared glances over his shoulder at Jensen, who's digging through Katelyn's bag of candy, a fun-size package of peanut M&M's in hand. “What?” Jensen asks with a grin. “She said I could.”

Jared can't help but smile back. “Yeah. How's Saturday?”

“What's Saturday?” Aaron asks, slinging an arm over Sarah's shoulders.

“Jared's gonna bring Jensen over for dinner,” Sarah tells him.

“Oh, really? You think he's somebody you could be serious about?”

All Jared has to do is look down at Katelyn and think about how quickly she took Jensen, how easily the alpha interacts with her, not to mention the overwhelming feeling of happiness he gets in his chest when he and Jensen lock gazes or touch. “Definitely.”

“Don't make plans for Saturday, Jensen,” Aaron says, looking past Jared. “Jared said he's bringing you over for dinner.”

Jensen steps up beside Jared, settles a hand low on his back. “I'd like that. Thanks.”

“I'll get a hold of you this week sometime, okay?” Sarah tells Jared, reaching for the wig Abby's holding out for her. “It was really nice to finally meet you, Jensen.”

“Yeah. You, too.”

“Well,” Jared starts, shifting Katelyn against his chest, “I suppose I better get this one home. I'll see you guys later.”

“Goodnight, Jay,” Aaron says. “See you Saturday, Jensen.”

“Saturday,” Jensen repeats. “Have a good night.” He leads Jared over to the truck, opens the back door so Jared can get Katelyn into her seat. They both get in and Jared waves goodbye out the window as he drives away.

“You sure you're okay with dinner on Saturday?” Jared asks while they're waiting at a stop light.

Jensen reaches across the console to take Jared's hand. “Yes, Jared. I'd like to get to know your friends.”

“Yeah?”

Jensen squeezes his hand. “Yeah.”

When Jared pulls into his driveway, he shuts the truck off and turns to face Jensen. “You wanna come in?”

“Sure. I'll get started on dinner while you give Katie a bath.” With that, he leans across the space between them to kiss Jared, plucking the keys from his hand and climbing out of the truck with Katelyn's bag of candy. He's holding the front door open for him when he turns from the truck with Katelyn in his arms. After everything he's been through the past few years, it's hard to believe he's this lucky.

Katelyn wakes up long enough for Jared to give her a quick bath, the cheap makeup requiring a good scrub that leaves her nose and cheeks pink. Jared dresses her in her Rainbow Dash pajamas and sends her out into the kitchen while he cleans up the wet towels and folds up her costume, getting everything back into the plastic bag in came in.

Jensen is standing at the stove with Katelyn in one arm while he flips over half-size pancakes on Jared's electric griddle. “How many do you want? Two?” he asks her quietly.

Katelyn nods against his shoulder, watching as he flips two pancakes onto a small plate.

“Butter?”

She shakes her head.

“Syrup?” At that he gets a nod and flips open the lid on the bottle of maple syrup. “Tell me when to stop.”

Katelyn's head tilts so she can see what he's doing. “Stop,” she says after a moment.

“Okay. You want any bacon?” When she shakes her head again, he sets a fork on her plate before picking it up and turning towards the table. He stills when he catches sight of Jared, eyes going wide. “Hey.”

Jared feels like his heart's just burst in his chest. “Hey,” he echoes back, crossing the room to where Jensen is standing next to the table and kissing him hard. He wants this – Jensen and how easily he's fit himself into Jared's life, how good he is with Katelyn. He wants it all, whatever he can have with Jensen, for as long as he can have it. He just hopes it's a long, long time. “Stay,” he says. “Stay the night.”

It'll be the first night they've spent together since Katelyn came home from the hospital.

Jensen nods and presses another kiss to Jared's lips and, smiling, says, “Yes.”

“So,” Aaron starts conversationally, twisting open a bottle of Corona and pushing a wedge of lime down into the neck before passing it over to Jared.

“Yes?” Jared picks up the bottle and takes a long drink, then reaches for another for Jensen.

“This thing with you and Jensen is pretty serious, huh?” He pulls a couple juice pouches out of the fridge for Abby and Katelyn as he moves back towards the dining room.

“Yeah, I think so. He's been staying over a lot lately.” Thanksgiving is a week away and they've been spending most of their free time and nearly every night together. Jensen picks Katelyn up from school on the Thursdays and Fridays Jared has to work late and he gets to come home to the two of them curled up on the couch watching cartoons while dinner's cooking or they're waiting for pizza to be delivered. Barely two months in and he can't imagine not having Jensen in his life.

“How's Katie taking it?”

“She was a little shy with him at first but I think she's as taken with him as I am. She asked him to read her a bedtime story the other night.”

Aaron smiles a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. “That's good, Jay. Really, it is. But... have you guys talked about what you're doing? Is he as serious about you and Katie as you are about him?”

“We haven't had a formal discussion about it, no, but I... I can't imagine that he _doesn't._ ”

“You never thought Evan would leave you, either.”

Jared feels the muscles in his jaw twitch as he clenches his teeth together, nodding at Aaron. It's a low blow, but it's true. “Yeah, well, Jensen's not Evan. And I appreciate your concern, Aaron, but I'm happy – really _happy_ \- right now.”

“I know that, Jay. I _see_ that. But it doesn't mean I can't worry. Hell, it makes me worry more. Because if, for some reason, this doesn't work out between the two of you? How're you gonna handle that along with everything else?”

Katelyn's high-pitched giggles and Jensen's low laughter travel through the dining room to where Aaron and Jared stand in the kitchen doorway. “Hopefully I'll never have to find out.” He gives Aaron a brief look before heading out into the dining room and crossing to the living room entryway. Jensen's sitting on the floor in front of the couch with Katelyn in his lap, some Disney cartoon on the TV keeping the girls' attention. Jared sits on the couch behind him and hands him his beer.

“Thanks, Jay,” Jensen says with a smile and a squeeze to Jared's ankle.

Jared watches him turn back around and Katelyn settles back against his chest, juice pouch in her hands and her eyes on the TV. He drops a hand onto Jensen's neck and keeps it there until they leave forty-five minutes later when Katelyn starts to fall asleep. From the easy chair opposite the couch, Aaron watches Jensen heft Katelyn in his arms as he climbs to his feet and carries her out of the room to get her shoes and coat on. Jared knows what he's seeing because he sees it often himself.

“He's so good with her,” Sarah says quietly with a wide smile, reaching over to squeeze Jared's hand.

Returning her smile, Jared stands from the couch. “I know.”

“Just talk to him, will you, Jay?” Aaron asks as he and Sarah follow him into the other room to say their goodbyes.

“Yeah, Aaron, I will,” Jared sighs.

Jensen's already got his boots and jacket on and is working on getting shoes onto a sleepy, seated Katelyn. She's got her coat across her lap and is half-heartedly pushing her feet into her shoes like Jensen's so calmly asking her to. Jared kneels behind her to help with her coat and coaxes her to listen to Jensen. “There you go, Katie-cat,” Jensen murmurs as he finally gets one shoe slipped onto her foot and picks up the other. Once she's ready, Jensen picks her back up and her arms are immediately around his neck.

“Thanks for having us over for dinner,” Jared says, pulling Sarah into a hug while Jensen and Aaron shake hands.

“It was fun,” Sarah tells him. “We should definitely do it again.”

“Yeah,” Jensen agrees. “Sounds great.”

“What about Thanksgiving?” Aaron suggests, and Jared's not sure if he's surprised or not. On one hand, he's inviting Jensen. But on the other, Jared and Katelyn usually spend Thanksgiving with Aaron, Sarah, and Abby anyway. Not that Jensen knows that. But they haven't discussed the holiday yet and it's very well possible that Jensen has other plans, even if he's never once mentioned his family.

Jensen glances over at Jared as if looking for his cue. Jared raises an eyebrow and gives him a shrug. “Sure,” he says. “Yeah. Thanks, man.”

“Cool. Well, I'm sure we'll see you before then, but I'm looking forward to it.”

“Me, too,” Jared admits, reaching up to give Jensen's bicep a grateful squeeze. He lets go and turns to open the door, holding it for Jensen.

“All right. See you guys later.”

“Have a good night,” Sarah adds.

“Bye,” Jared says with a wave, digging his keys out of his coat pocket and crossing the lawn to unlock his truck for Jensen, pulling open the rear door so he can get Katelyn strapped into her car seat.

The whole ride back home, Jared thinks about what Aaron said but he's not sure how to broach the subject with Jensen.

“What's up?” Jensen asks when Jared pulls into his driveway and shuts off the truck.

Jared shakes his head. “Nothing. Just thinking.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Jensen laughs. “About what?” He turns in his seat and reaches over to smooth his thumb up the bridge of Jared's nose and over an eyebrow. “You've got that line you get when you're thinking too hard.”

“Do I?” Jared smiles, leaning into Jensen's palm.

“You do.”

Jared pulls the keys out of the ignition, jiggles them in his hand for a moment before passing them over to Jensen. “It's just something Aaron said earlier,” he says, sitting back and opening his door.

Jensen gets out and walks around the front of the truck to where Jared's unstrapping Katelyn carefully, then leading them up to the front door, unlocking it and letting them in. “So... what did he say?” Jensen asks, pulling Katelyn's shoes off before helping Jared get her out of her coat.

“Let me just... get her to bed. Then we can talk about it, okay?”

“Yeah.” He lifts a hand and pushes Katelyn's tangled hair away from her face. “You want me to start a pot of coffee or do you want a beer?”

“I could use another beer, thanks. I'll be right back.”

Jensen's sprawled in the corner of the couch with a beer in hand, another next to his socked feet where they're propped up on the coffee table. The TV's on, volume low, a commercial for the ten o'clock news highlighting the unrest in the Middle East. Jensen sits up straighter, sets the remote on the table, and picks up Jared's beer, holding it out for him. “Here.”

“Thanks,” Jared says, sitting close.

“What did you and Aaron talk about today?”

“He was just... not concerned, but... I don't know. Curious, maybe, about us. You and me, I mean.”

Jensen switches his beer from his right hand to his left, stretching his right arm out across the back of the couch behind Jared. “Okay. Curious about _what_ , exactly? My intentions?” he smirks.

“Something like that,” Jared nods, running his thumb down along the edge of the label on his bottle. “He wanted to know how serious things are. I think, mostly, because he's worried about Katelyn getting too attached and what could happen if, you know, this doesn't... work out.” He keeps his eyes trained on the bottle in his hands and the way the colored light of the TV reflects off the glass.

“Worried about Katelyn or worried about _both_ of you?” Jensen asks, hand settling on the back of Jared's neck, a solid, warm, calming weight.

Jared takes a deep breath and lifts his gaze to meet Jensen's. “Both of us.”

“I see. And what are _you_ worried about?”

“I don't know,” Jared answers honestly. “Maybe that we're not on the same page? That... you don't feel the same about me as I do about you.”

Jensen pulls back a little and takes Jared's beer out of his hand and setting both of their bottles on the table. He shifts on the couch until he's sitting sideways and presses as close to Jared as he can get. “I know we haven't known each other long,” he says, taking Jared's hands in his own, green eyes earnest and determined, “but, from the moment I met you... I don't know, Jay, but there was something there that first time we met at Benji's. And now, after the way you and Katie have let me into your lives... I know I haven't said it, but you know that I- that I love you, right? The way I feel about you-”

Whatever else Jensen was going to say is abruptly cut off by Jared's mouth crashing into his. “I thought I was crazy,” Jared whispers against Jensen's lips before kissing him again. “I've never felt the way you make me feel. And seeing the way you are with Katelyn...”

“She's your daughter, Jay. No way I couldn't love that little girl, too.”

Jared's all at once overwhelmed with emotion, feels his heart swell in his chest and the sting of tears behind his eyes. He buries his face in Jensen's neck and clings to the alpha. “This is insane, isn't it?”

Jensen's strong arms wraps around Jared's back and hold him tight. “Maybe. But I don't care – I know what I feel.”

“I can't remember the last time I was this happy. Or Katelyn? After Evan left...”

“Hey.” Jensen leans back to look Jared in the eye.

Jared meets his gaze and slowly closes the distance between them again. “Come on. Let's go to bed.”

Jensen hesitates a moment before standing. He reaches for the remote to shut off the TV while Jared picks up their beer bottles and heads for the kitchen.

They meet again in the hall and Jared lets Jensen push him up against the wall and kiss him hard. Jared spreads his legs for Jensen's thigh and gets his hands up under the back of Jensen's shirt. “Bedroom,” he gasps, “now.”

Jensen kisses him deep then backs away, gripping one of Jared's hands tight and pulling him down the hall.

Katelyn and Abby are sitting together on the couch in living room watching _Tangled_ , while Jared and Jensen sit across from Aaron and Sarah at the dining room table with second servings of pumpkin pie in front of them. “This is delicious, Sarah,” Jared nearly moans, scraping the last bit of smeared pumpkin filling and whipped cream up with flaky crust on his fork.

Jensen laughs as he turns sideways in his chair, smoothing a hand over Jared's slightly bulging stomach. His appetite has been steadily increasing lately and his body's starting to show the effects of the extra calories. “Gonna have to get you into the gym with me Monday.”

Jared covers Jensen's hand with his own. “Maybe. Doesn't look like my jogs with Harley are cutting it anymore.” He sets his fork down and glances over at Jensen's half-eaten piece of pie. “You done with that?”

“Seriously?” Jensen grins as Aaron and Sarah laugh.

“It's Thanksgiving,” Jared says, as if that's a good enough reason for eating nearly three servings of pie. “Besides, no point letting it go to waste.”

“Letting it go to your _waist_ instead, right?” Aaron jokes.

“Oh, man. Hardy har har,” Jared deadpans and reaches for Jensen's plate.

“Honey,” Sarah sighs, obviously unamused, poking at her husband's stomach. “Like you're one to talk.”

Jared just grins over the table as he takes another bite of still-warm pumpkin pie.

Jared sets down the free weights and clenches his fists, flexes the overworked muscles in his arms. “You're like a frickin' drill sergeant over there, man,” he says, picking up his towel and wiping off his face before accepting the bottle of water Jensen holds out to him.

“Yeah, well, as much as you've been eating, it's gonna take a lot of really hard work to burn off all those calories,” Jensen tells him as he moves in closer and slides his palms down over Jared's sweat-slick biceps.

“We've been at this for, what? Three weeks, almost?” He glances down at his stomach and pulls up his damp shirt to reveal his soft belly where the definition of his abs has completely disappeared. “I don't think it's working.”

“Maybe we should up your core training.”

Jared laughs loud. “Maybe I should just start P90X.”

“I think that would be a little excessive.”

“You're probably right. I'm barely surviving your workouts. Tony Horton would probably kill me.”

“Definitely wouldn't want that,” Jensen murmurs, leaning in for a kiss.

“Daddy!” Katelyn calls as she comes out of Jensen's office with a handful of lose sheets of paper. “My homework's all done. Can I watch _My Little Pony_ now?”

“I got it,” Jensen tells him, starting towards the stairs. “You stay here, get another mile in on the treadmill and cool down.” He turns and makes his way up the steps. “Sure thing, sweetheart,” he says to Katelyn. “I've got a couple episodes on the DVR for you.”

Jared climbs onto the treadmill and turns it on, setting his speed and increasing the incline. He's just finishing his mile by the time Jensen's coming back down the stairs. “Did she have to show you how to work your remote again?” he asks, turning the speed down until he's at a good-paced jog.

“No. Checked over her homework. She's getting better with those money problems.” He picks up the spray bottle of cleaning solution and rag from the floor next to the treadmill and waits for Jared to finish and climb off before wiping down the machine.

“She's gotten a lot better at telling time, too. Has to stop me every time she sees a regular clock and tell me what time it is.”

Jensen smiles wide at that. “Good.” It was something they'd spent hours on one afternoon a week and a half back that left Katelyn frustrated and moody because she couldn't figure it out.

Jared chugs the rest of his water and scrubs the towel along the back of his neck. “I'm gonna sleep well tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm. Wore me out.”

“But you're not _too_ worn out, are you?” Jensen asks with an arch of his brow.

“I'm sure I can muster up some spare energy for you.”

“Good.” He puts the cleaning solution away on the cart by the free weights and tosses the rag into the bin against the wall. “How do chicken enchiladas sound for dinner?”

“Delicious,” he says as he balls up his towel and shoots it into the bin after the rag. “What's for dessert?”

“Dessert? How about an apple?”

Jared groans. “Dude, that sucks.”

“Dude, that's life.”

“You're mean.”

“You'll get over it.”

“I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively as he joins Jensen at the bottom of the stairs.

“I'm sure I will. You wanna grab Katie while I go make sure the back door's locked?”

“Yep.” Jared slowly climbs the stairs to Jensen's office and finds Katelyn on the couch with Mr. Whiskers in her lap and _My Little Pony_ on the TV. “You ready to head home, Katie-cat?”

“Right now?” she asks with a whine, pouting.

“Yes, right now. You can finish this tomorrow.”

She huffs and stops the recording before climbing off the couch. “Fine.”

“Come on, baby girl. Jensen's waiting for us downstairs.” Jared grabs her school bag from the floor and pulls the strap over his shoulder.

“Hey, Daddy?” Katelyn starts as they leave Jensen's office.

“Yes, baby?”

“Is Jensen gonna be my new Papa?”

Jared pauses at the top of the stairs and glances down to where Jensen's standing, Jared's sweatshirt in his hand. “I don't know, Katie. Why?”

Katelyn shrugs. “I don't know.”

“Would you like that?”

She stops on the stairs and glances back up at Jared with a thoughtful look on her face before nodding. “I like Jensen. He's really nice.”

“I like him, too, baby girl.” He can feel himself grinning like an idiot when they get down to the bottom of the steps.

“What?” Jensen asks.

“Nothing,” Jared tells him before leaning in for a kiss, trading Katelyn's backpack for his sweatshirt. “Love you.”

Jensen shakes his head, smiling. “You, too.”

Jared gets paid the week before Christmas and, as he's been saving and budgeting like a fiend for the last few months, he's already paid January's bills and can afford to spend the majority of his check on gifts for Katelyn and a last-minute pre-lit tree. It doesn't take much convincing to get Jensen to watch Katelyn Saturday afternoon while Jared makes the trek across town to the mall to do his shopping.

His daughter will be easy enough to buy for – anything Disney or _My Little Pony_ is a pretty safe bet, along with books and movies, some clothes and a new pair of shoes – but Jared's been racking his brain trying to think of something to get for Jensen. They haven't been together long enough for an expensive gift like a watch or jewelry, but he wants to make sure Jensen knows exactly how he feels about him.

He ends up at the fragrance counter in one of the numerous mall department stores, on his way to finding himself a better-fitting pair of jeans, and spends a good twenty minutes smelling various samples of their best-selling brands of cologne. The woman behind the counter somehow manages to convince him to drop sixty dollars on a three ounce bottle of a ridiculously tempting scent by Gucci that's got his heart beating a little faster and heat rising up his chest. After, on a whim, while he's over by the menswear, he finds some tastefully sexy boxer-briefs to go along with the cologne and the plan for New Year's he's slowly forming as he goes. A couple pairs of buy-one-get-one-half-price Levi's end his shopping trip and not a moment too soon. His stomach is bothering him again, days of weird cravings interspersed with bouts of nausea or indigestion...

Jared's loading his bags into the backseat of the truck when the idea hits him. “No,” he breathes, bracing himself with one hand on the door frame, the palm of the other smoothing over the slight swell of his stomach. He wants to say there's no way, but that first night with Jensen... “Shit.”

Not exactly the kind of Christmas gift he wanted to give his boyfriend, but there's a serious possibility his weight gain isn't entirely food-related. That's if his suspicion is true. Jared steels himself with a slow, deep breath and makes a mental note to call his doctor first thing Monday morning. It might be Christmas Eve, but if he can get in early enough, he'll have plenty of time to make it to lunch at Aaron's.

As he's getting into the front seat, hyper-aware of the way his seatbelt is snug across his belly, his phone rings in the pocket of his hoodie. Jensen's name lights up the display. “Hey,” he says, trying his best to keep his sudden anxiety out of his voice. “I was just thinking about you.”

“Yeah?” Jensen asks, an odd, unfamiliar tone to his voice.

“Yeah. All good things. I promise.”

There's an awkward pause before Jensen continues on. “Are you close to being on your way back yet?”

“Just got into the truck. Should I pick up a pizza on the way home?”

Another pause sets Jared on edge, alarm making his heart thud and his stomach churn like a sixth sense giving him a warning. It's not unlike how he'd felt in the days leading up to Evan leaving, that hopeless feeling that things were coming undone and beyond his control. “Uh, if you want,” Jensen finally manages. “I can't stay for dinner, though.”

“Oh. Okay.” His revelation – his possible, rather _probable_ , revelation – has left him more emotional than usual and he has to fight to hold in his worry. “I'll, um, I'll be there soon. Fifteen minutes.”

“Yeah, all right. See you then.”

“Bye.” Jared snaps his phone closed and tosses it onto the passenger seat.

It seems to take forever and yet no time at all to make the drive home and Jared finds himself in the driveway, listening to nothing but white noise and the ticking of the engine as it cools. Jensen's shadow moves across the living room window and Jared sees him pull back the curtain, the wash of headlights or the sound of the truck alerting him to Jared's arrival, and he knows he can't stall any longer. He takes off his seatbelt and reaches for his phone, climbs out of the truck leaving his shopping bags in the back until after Katelyn's gone to bed.

Jensen meets him just inside the door, boots on and starting to pull on his jacket. Jared closes the door and leans back against it. “Is... is everything okay?”

Jensen glances up at him before letting his gaze wander around the living room, over the artificial tree in the corner with twinkling, multicolored lights. “Yeah. Fine. I just, I gotta.” He nods towards the door.

“Are you... We'll still see you Monday, right?”

“Yeah,” Jensen says again, nodding. “Monday. I'll be here at eleven.”

Biting his lip, Jared pushes off the door and reaches for the knob to open it back up for Jensen. “Thanks for, um, for watching Katelyn today.”

“You're welcome.” Jensen steps aside as Jared holds open the door, keeps his distance in a way that makes Jared's chest tight. He doesn't lean in for a kiss or put his hands on Jared in that vaguely possessive way that lights Jared up inside. “Goodnight.” He holds Jared's gaze for a moment before nodding and turning away, walking down the sidewalk and crossing the street without looking back.

Jared watches Jensen until he disappears into the gym, stares a little while longer then closes the door when a gust of wind sends a shiver down his spine. He turns the deadbolt and flips the switch for the porch light and moves further into the living room where Katelyn is laying on the couch watching Animal Planet. She tilts her head back to look at Jared as he nears her, little eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “Where's Jensen?”

“He went home, sweetheart.”

“He's not gonna stay the night?”

“Not tonight.”

“Oh.” Her mouth turns down into a frown as she looks back at the TV.

“Did something happen while I was gone?” Jared asks, kneeling beside the couch. Jensen was fine when Jared left earlier, kissed him goodbye, made him promise to hurry home.

Katelyn rolls onto her side to face him. “My papa came over. He got mad at Jensen and yelled at him. Jensen made me go to my room then my papa came in to talk to me. I told him about school and _My Little Pony_ and Mr. Whiskers and that Jensen is maybe going to be my new papa. When he left, I could hear him yelling at Jensen again. Then Jensen told me I didn't have to stay in my room anymore and we watched the Rudolph movie and he was sad. Is that why he's not spending the night?”

It feels like the bottom's dropped out of Jared's stomach, that Evan's shown up now, after all this time, that he's done or said something to Jensen to make him think, what? That Jared doesn't want to be with him? That he and Evan would get back together? Evan could have said anything and Jared won't know for sure what unless Jensen talks to him.

“Daddy?”

“I don't know, baby girl.” Jared leans in and kisses her forehead. “How about mac and cheese for dinner?”

“The _Spongebob_ kind?”

“If you want.”

“And ice cream for dessert?”

“Of course.” Jared sweeps her bangs away from her face and tucks them behind her ear as he stands. “As soon as this show's over, you need to go wash your hands.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

Jared watches as Katelyn returns her attention back to the documentary about penguins before heading into the kitchen and pulling his cell phone from his pocket. He opens it, presses 'SEND' twice to call Jensen, but the line rings and rings and goes to voicemail.

The tightness in Jared's chest squeezes harder and colder, and the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him earlier finally break through his last defenses. He turns to the task of making dinner as his eyes well with tears and his breathing turns ragged and he prays to god that what he and Jensen have isn't lost for good.

Jared slouches in his chair in the waiting room at the clinic, picks at a fraying thread on the sleeve of his jacket and keeps an eye on Katelyn where she's drawing with stubby crayons in the small play area in the corner. It's been a while since they've been here, since they found out what Katelyn's condition was, but the faces are all familiar. Luz Rivera is still Jared's doctor even if it's been a few years since his last check-up and Katelyn's care is now in the hands of better-equipped staff at the university hospital.

Luz appears in the entrance to the short hallway of exam rooms next to the counter of the front desk and calls Jared's name.

“I'll be right back, okay, Katie-cat?” Jared says as he stands.

“Okay, Daddy.”

“I'll keep an eye on her, Jared,” Kellie, the receptionist, tells him.

Jared follows Luz down the hallway and into the second room on the left. “So. What can I do for you today, Jared?” she asks, setting a manila folder on the table against the wall and flipping it open. “Looks like it's been a little over three years since the last time you were in.”

“Yeah,” he says, feeling a little sheepish. “I'm okay, I think. I just... I think I might be- I might be pregnant.”

Luz's eyebrows arch slightly as she looks up at him. “Yeah?”

Jared nods.

“We can certainly check for you. Why don't you go ahead and change into the gown and we can-”

“I, um, I just need the pregnancy test, Luz. We've got to get across town for an early Christmas dinner, so.”

“Jared.”

“If- If I _am_ , I'll schedule another appointment, okay? I just- I just need to know for sure.”

Luz sighs and nods. “Okay. Take a seat and I'll go get what I need.”

Forty-five minutes later Jared and Katelyn are back home, Katelyn putting finishing touches on the sugar cookies shaped like snowflakes and Christmas trees and Santa and presents that they'd made earlier in the morning. Jared's sitting at the table watching her, still reeling from Luz's confirmation. He's scheduled for an exam the Friday after New Year's to see how his body is handling the change and to determine exactly how far along he is, but Jared knows when he... conceived. Four months ago, the first time he and Jensen were together. Halfway through his pregnancy and he's just now figuring out what his body's been trying to tell him. Now, he's trying to figure out how he's supposed to tell _Jensen._ How he's supposed to explain it to Katelyn. How they're going to react.

He doesn't have time to worry about any of it now because Jensen's at the door, knocking like the past couple of months haven't happened and he's no longer allowed to walk in like he belongs.

“Jensen!” Katelyn yells, running out of the kitchen and nearly launching herself into Jensen's arms.

Jensen pulls her up into a hug, holding her tight as he kisses the top of her head. “Hey, there, Katie-cat.”

“I missed you,” Jared hears her say as she wraps her little arms around Jensen's neck.

“Makes two of us,” Jared tells Jensen as he reaches for Katelyn's coat off the rack behind the door. “Will you help her with her jacket and shoes please? I'll go get the cookies and stuffing.”

The ride over to Aaron and Sarah's is quiet, verges on uncomfortable, and dinner isn't much different. Aaron's concerned glances across the table are obvious but he doesn't say anything about the awkward tension until Jensen excuses himself to use the bathroom. “Dude,” he says, pulling Jared aside in the kitchen where he's cutting the pie and cheesecake at the counter, “what's going on with you guys?”

“Sometime while I was out finishing my Christmas shopping on Saturday, _Evan_ decided to drop by. Jen's been... distant since. He didn't tell me about it – I had to hear it from Katelyn.” He scrubs both hands over his face before dragging them back through his hair. “This is the first I've seen of him since it happened.”

“Jesus, Jay. Evan?”

“Yeah. Katie, she said that he and Jensen got into an argument, couldn't tell me what it was about because Jensen sent her to her room, but I'm pretty sure I can guess, considering how Jensen's been acting.”

“Do you... You want me to say something to him?”

“No. I'll ask him about it when we get home.”

“Anything else I can do?”

“Unless you've got a time machine... No.”

Aaron smiles and shakes his head and hands off the cheesecake to Jared. “Come on.”

Katelyn is on Jensen's lap when they get back into the dining room, her nose wrinkled against the bite of cranberry sauce on the end of Jensen's fork. “Just one little bite,” Jensen cajoles. “It's good. See?” He takes the bite and scoops up another, smaller one. “A little, teeny-tiny bite.”

Katelyn glances up at Jared with big eyes and opens her mouth. Her nostrils are flared as she chews and swallows, then she reaches for her cup of juice as she makes another face. “I don't like it.”

“But you tried it,” Jensen says and presses a kiss to the side of her head. “How 'bout a piece of pie?”

“With lots and lots of whip cream?”

“Of course.”

Jared puts two pieces of pie on two small plates, spooning a dollop of whipped cream onto one and heaping a pile on the other before setting them in front of Jensen and Katelyn. He indulges himself in a slice of cheesecake because, according to Luz, he should've gained a bit more weight by now. He knows his lower-than-average weight is due to his workouts with Jensen.

“Thanks, Jay,” Jensen says with a tight smile as he sits forward, shifting Katelyn onto his left knee so he can eat.

“You're welcome.” Jared drops a hand onto his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze as he takes a seat in his chair beside him.

They eat dessert mostly in silence, Katelyn and Abby carrying on a conversation of what they hope to get for Christmas.

“Danny and Isabelle are having a New Year's party,” Sarah starts as she gathers plates and silverware. “You guys coming?”

Jared glances at Jensen. “Um, I don't know. I don't want to leave Katelyn with-”

“We've already hired Alyssa to sit for us. I'm sure she wouldn't mind taking on Katie, too.”

“Yeah, I... We'll talk about it.” It's not like they don't have enough to talk about already, so what's one more thing?

It's nearing five when Jared decides to call it a night and they let the girls exchange gifts before heading out. The ride back home is just as quiet as the ride over, but it gives Jared time to think about what he wants to say to Jensen. “Can you come in for bit?” Jared asks once they're both outside the truck, before he opens the rear door to get Katelyn. “We- we need to talk.”

Jensen bites at his bottom lip and nods. “Yeah. Okay.” He helps Jared carry in wrapped leftovers, starts a pot of coffee and makes Katelyn a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows before sitting at the table in the kitchen to wait for Jared to finish getting Katelyn set up with a movie.

Jared busies himself with pouring Jensen a mug of coffee, buying a few more moments to steel himself for whatever will come of this conversation. He slides the chipped green mug Jensen favors onto the table as he sits. “So. What happened Saturday? With Evan.”

Jensen wraps his hands around the ceramic mug and leans forward, elbows on the table. Sighing, he shakes his head. “Look, Jay... It doesn't matter what happened. He's Katie's dad – her _other_ dad. I know he left at the worst possible time, but... he came back. And nothing changes the fact that he's her father. If you can figure out a way to make it work with him... Jay, you should.”

Jared scoffs, can't hold back his reaction to the absolute absurdity of him ever - _ever_ \- taking Evan back. “What about _you_? Huh? What about the way I feel about _you_? I _love_ you, Jensen. Evan- Evan's got nothing to do with this, with _us._ I'm never getting back together with him. Ever. Okay? Yeah, he's Katelyn's dad, but he bailed on her, on our _family_ , when she got sick. A real father wouldn't do that. He doesn't have a right to come here, now, and do this to us.” Chest heaving, he stares Jensen down, half-tempted to tell him about the baby - _their_ baby – but something holds him back. “Don't give up on what we've got because Evan suddenly decided to show up. He gave up whatever say he had when he left.”

“I hear you,” Jensen says, letting go of the mug of untouched coffee and sitting back, “I do. But... he's her dad. You loved him once-”

“A long time ago!” Jared interrupts, outraged. “But it's _nothing_ like what I feel for you.”

Jensen just shakes his head and slides his chair back, making like he's getting ready to leave. “I can't- I can't stand in the way of you being a family again. I won't.”

“Do you love me?” Jared asks, voice rough, as Jensen stands.

“Jared.” The blank mask Jensen's face has been since Jared sat down falters a little.

“Do you?” Jared climbs to his feet and reaches out for Jensen, one hand fisted in the front of his jacket while the other skims over the side of his neck, fingers curling across his nape. “Please. Please don't do this.”

“I'm sorry,” Jensen whispers, resting his forehead against Jared's. “I'm sorry. But I just... I can't do this anymore, Jay.”

It feels like Jared's lungs are being crushed slowly as Jensen disentangles himself from Jared's loose hold. “Jensen...”

The mask falls away as Jensen shakes his head and steps back, heading out into the living room.

“Are you leaving again?” Jared hears Katelyn ask as he moves towards the doorway.

“Yeah, Katie-cat, I gotta get home,” Jensen tells her.

“You can spend the night here. Daddy will let you.”

“No, sweetheart, I can't.”

“Why not?”

“I just can't. Give me a hug?” Jared watches Katelyn scoot to the edge of the couch where Jensen's kneeling and wrap her arms around his neck. “I love you, Katie,” Jensen mumbles against her hair as he brings his arms up to hug her back.

“I love you, too,” she tells him before he lets go. “Will you be here tomorrow when we open presents?”

“Sorry, Katie, I can't.” Jensen brushes her hair away from her face before leaning in and kissing her forehead. “Be good for your daddy, okay?”

“I will,” she says, and Jared can tell by the look on her face that some part of her understands what's happening. It's not like she hasn't gone through something like this before. At least this time she's getting a goodbye. “I promise.”

Jared backs away from the doorway as Jensen gets back to his feet and moves towards the front door. He wants to say something but knows he's said everything he can and it doesn't seem like any of it is going to change Jensen's mind. So he just follows Jensen to the door, holds it open for him and waits.

Jensen stands outside on the front stoop and looks up at Jared in the encroaching darkness of early twilight. “Jared,” he says softly, shifting half a step closer.

“Don't,” Jared manages, voice strangled, eyes closed against the sight of Jensen's beseeching expression.

“Goodbye, Jay.”

Jared doesn't open his eyes, doesn't watch Jensen walking away from him, out of his life for now or for good, he doesn't know. Just keeps his eyes squeezed shut as he backs into the house and closes the door. He crosses the room to the couch where Katelyn's looking up at him with big, sad eyes. “Daddy?”

“Shh, baby girl. It's okay.” He sits beside her and pulls her into his lap, curling up in the corner of the couch with her to finish watching _Finding Nemo._ And if he cries when Nemo is reunited with Marlin, well, at least Katelyn's too focused on the movie to notice.

****

oxo ****  


Christmas turns out to be a fairly somber affair for Jared. He's able to share in some of Katelyn's excitement for the multitude of presents beneath the tree for her, the complete set of _Ponies_ from Jensen taking pride of place amongst movies and new clothes and LeapPad games. She's on the couch with Mr. Whiskers and a plush Rainbow Dash tucked under her arms watching _Despicable Me_ while Jared ices the cinnamon rolls he's just taken out of the oven when the doorbell sounds its discordant chime. He throws away the plastic icing container as he passes the garbage and tries to tamp down the hope that he'll find Jensen on the other side of the door when he opens it.

Evan stands on the front steps, a silver-wrapped package with a sparkly red bow in his arms. “Hi, Jared,” he says with a tentative smile. “You think I could, maybe, come in?”

As much as Jared just wants to tell him no and slam the door in his face, it's not only Christmas, but Evan still is Katelyn's dad. He still maintains his ex has no rights when it comes to their daughter, but she should still have the opportunity to get to know her other father. He can agree with Jensen about that, at least. So he opens the door and gestures Evan inside.

When Katelyn lays eyes on him, her whole face goes pinched, eyes squinting as her mouth turns down in a pout. “What are _you_ doing here?” she demands, crossing her arms over her chest, Mr. Whiskers' and Rainbow Dash's heads caught in her elbows. The sight makes Jared want to laugh – he's got to bite his lips against the smile that threatens to curl the corners of his mouth – and he lets Evan field the question.

After a brief glance at Jared, Evan steps further into the living room and holds out the gift in his hand. “I wanted to bring this to you.”

“I don't want it,” Katelyn says definitively, little nose up in the air as she looks away.

“Katelyn,” Jared says quietly, crossing the room to his daughter's side, “that's not very nice.”

“ _He's_ not very nice. He yelled at Jensen and made him sad and then _you_ were sad. I don't like it when you're sad, Daddy.” She looks up at him with her big, earnest brown eyes. “I want Jensen.”

Jared pulls her into a hug. “I know, Katie-cat. So do I. But Jensen... We're probably not going to see him for a while.”

“Why not? Because my other dad is back?”

“I'm not sure, baby girl. But, come on,” Jared says, turning to grab the remote and pause the movie. “The cinnamon rolls are done. Let's go eat.”

Katelyn wraps her arms around Jared's neck as he picks her up then gives Evan the stink eye as they pass. He has to bite down on the urge to laugh again and kisses her cheek loudly as he sets her down.

Evan lingers in the doorway for a moment before moving over to the table and sitting down in the chair across from Katelyn. He sets the gift down and slides it towards her. “You want to open it?”

“Go ahead,” Jared tells her, setting a few small plates and the pan of rolls on the table. “Open it.”

Katelyn sighs and sits up on her knees to pull the present towards herself.

“You want coffee?” he asks Evan.

“Please,” Evan says with a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

Jared hears the tearing of paper as he pours coffee into two mugs and a glass of milk for Katelyn. There's a beat of silence then, “I already have these.”

It's the same Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, and Spike set she'd gotten for her birthday from Abby. Evan looks chagrined. “Sorry. I can- I can get you a different one, maybe?” He glances up at Jared for help.

Sighing, Jared relents, setting their coffee and Katelyn's milk on the table. “It was a good thought. You like _My Little Pony,_ don't you, Katelyn?” She just shrugs a shoulder and pushes the packaged toys away. “It's one of her favorite cartoons.”

“I, uh, I noticed the other figurines in her room when I was here the other day.”

Jared nods, digs a roll out of the pan and sets it on a plate for Katelyn before putting two onto a plate for himself. “Help yourself,” he tells Evan.

They eat in silence for a few minutes until Katelyn finishes her cinnamon roll and slides her plate towards Jared. “Can I go watch my movie now?”

“Finish your milk and wash your hands.”

She does as she's told and sulks out of the room. “She's gotten so big,” Evan says.

“She's almost seven. She was four when you left.”

“I know, Jay. Okay? I _know._ I made a mistake.”

“But you're really good at making those, right?” Jared grits out, voice low. “It was a mistake to be with me, a mistake to keep _her._ A mistake to stay together for four years for her. Now you think it was a mistake that you left?” Jared shakes his head and looks Evan right in the eye. “You _coming back_ was the _mistake._ We were finally doing okay. We were finally _happy._ And you ruined it all, _again._ ”

“Jesus Christ, Jared. I'm trying to do the right thing here.”

Jared can't help the derisive laugh that falls from his mouth at that. The things Evan's saying only serve to reaffirm Jared's initial feelings about his return. Evan's only ever worried about himself and for whatever reason he's coming back now, it's got nothing to do with Katelyn. “When have you ever tried to do the right thing, Evan?” He shakes his head again. “No. The _right thing_ , Evan? The right thing would be for you to leave and stay gone. Seriously. We were doing so good without you.” Jared pushes his chair back and stands. “I think it's time for you to go.”

Evan looks like he's about to say something else but apparently rethinks it at the expression on Jared's face. “Okay,” he says with a nod. “I'll go. I just- I wanted-”

“I don't care what you wanted. What about what Katelyn _needed_? She needed _you_ and you abandoned her. Abandoned us.”

“I'm sorry.”

Jared scoffs. “It's way too late for apologies.” He leads Evan to the door and opens it for him. “Don't come back. Please.”

Evan slowly nods again and starts down the stairs. Jared has the door closed on him before he has the chance to turn around and look back. He heads back into the kitchen to clear the plates, Evan's mug, and Katelyn's glass from the table. After finishing off the last two rolls he refreshes his coffee and heads into the living room to settle on the couch with Katelyn.

“Did he leave?” Katelyn asks, scooting closer to Jared's side, tucking up underneath his arm.

“Yeah, he did, baby girl.”

“Is he coming back?”

“I don't think so.”

“Good.” She goes back to watching the movie for a little while before tilting her head back to look up at Jared. “Will Jensen come back now?”

“I don't know, baby. Maybe. I hope so.”

Katelyn snuggles up against him, draping one arm across his stomach, head resting against his chest. “I hope so, too.”

In the middle of January, Jared gets his diploma from the University of Phoenix for completing his accounting degree. He's disappointed to have missed the commencement ceremony, but there's no way he could've made the trip with Katelyn, work, and his pregnancy. His still secret pregnancy that feels more and more obvious by the day. He's worried that he won't be able to carry on work at the garage and focuses the time that had been set aside for his school work on finding a good accounting job.

He's in and out of the house a lot, picking Katelyn up from school and dropping her off, going to and from work and interviews, and notices that there seem to be a lot more people at Jensen's gym. Jensen's always had a steady clientele base easily managed by the two trainers on his payroll, but there are at least twice as many cars in the parking lot next to the building; some days, the lot is so full the cars line the street.

It's not like Jared saw him often after they first... broke up or decided to take a break or... whatever. But now, with the increase in business, Jared doesn't see him ever. And it makes his heart ache. There's a direct correlation between the size of his stomach and how much he misses Jensen. Of course, as he's realizing how much he's missing Jensen is when their baby starts moving inside him and all he wants is for Jensen to experience this miracle with him.

It also forces Jared to finally explain to Katelyn why, as she bluntly pointed out, Daddy's getting fat. He sits down with her before bedtime, pulls her up against his side where he sits against the headboard of her bed. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” he says, pulling Katelyn's blankets up around her to tuck her in.

Katelyn reaches for Mr. Whiskers and hugs him to her chest as she leans against Jared's side and looks up at him. “Okay.”

“You remember how you said Daddy was getting a big belly?”

“Yeah,” she says, rubbing a small hand over Jared's swollen stomach.

“Well, it's because... I'm gonna have a baby.” He watches her little eyebrows scrunch together, confusion evident on her face.

“A baby?”

“Mmhmm.” He reaches for her hand and settles it just above his bellybutton, smiling as her eyes widen in surprise at the feel of the baby moving under their hands. “You feel that? That's your little brother or sister.”

“How'd he get in there?” she asks, not moving her hand.

“It happens when people... when they love each other very much. And me and Jensen, we loved each other a lot, so... Now Daddy's gonna have a baby. Is that okay, Katie-cat?”

Katelyn nods and shifts until her head is resting on Jared's stomach. “So... is Jensen coming back, since you're having a baby?”

“I don't know, baby girl. Jensen... Jensen doesn't know about the baby yet.”

She sits up then. “You hafta tell him,” she nods. “Then he'll come back and he can be my papa and we can be a family and you won't be sad anymore.”

Jared hugs her close and kisses her forehead. “I love you,” he whispers against her hair.

Jared wakes up long before his alarm is set to go off with sharp lower back pain that lessens when he curls up on his side and hugs a pillow to his chest. He dozes on and off for the next hour and a half and slaps at the alarm clock when it starts beeping. Climbing out of bed is a slow process, but he manages, wakes up Katelyn and makes her toast and a bowl of cereal, lays out her clothes on her bed, then climbs into the shower. The hot water beating down on his back is soothing and Jared wants nothing more than to stay here all day.

Then Katelyn's knocking on the door. “Daddy! I gotta go potty!”

With a sigh, he turns off the water and pushes back the shower curtain, climbs out of the tub, and wraps himself in a towel, leaving the bathroom to Katelyn while he returns to his room to get dressed for work. The sweater he chooses is loose fitting, masks the size of his stomach enough that he simply looks like he's gained a couple extra pounds. Of course, his new coworkers at Levine and Dowling CPA's haven't seen him _not_ pregnant, so the bit of belly he has isn't unusual to them. He knows he's going to have to tell them his situation soon – his friends and Jensen, too – because he'll need to take maternity leave or paternity leave or whatever, so he can have the baby and time to settle into fatherhood. Single fatherhood, most likely. He needs to set up a nursery and find a reliable sitter and a million other things – he doesn't know where to start, and he's barely got two months left to figure it out.

So he just gets dressed, eats a quick breakfast, and takes Katelyn to school.

His day doesn't get any better. The pain in his back worsens, makes him nauseous to the point he throws up the turkey club he had for lunch. When three o'clock rolls around, he wastes no time in shutting down his computer and cleaning up his work area. He gets lightheaded as he stands to pull on his jacket, catches himself with a palm splayed on the wall.

“You okay, Jared?” Alice, the redhead in the cubicle beside him – and a friend of Sarah's – asks, touching his elbow with a gentle hand.

“Uh, yeah. Just got dizzy. I'll be fine. Thanks.”

“You sure?” She looks honestly concerned and doesn't let go of his elbow.

“Yeah,” Jared tells her, not meeting her eyes because, for some reason, her worry makes him want to cry. They don't know each other – not really – and she's being so nice. And Jared's had a really shitty day. And all he wants is Jensen. “Thanks,” he says again. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

Alice nods, give his arm a squeeze before turning back towards her desk.

Jared takes a deep breath and carefully makes his way out to his car. He spends the drive over to the elementary school debating whether or not he should visit the doctor and decides that if he doesn't feel better in the morning, he'll give Luz a call.

After parking along the curb on the other side of the chainlink fence that lines the school grounds, Jared climbs out of the truck to wait for Katelyn, gritting his teeth against the sharp spasm of his muscles. He has to lean against his open door for support, the pain making his knees weak. Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long – Katelyn is in the first group of students out the door and runs down the sidewalk towards him, a brightly painted, curling sheet of paper in her hands. “Look at what I made, Daddy!”

Jared takes the painting from her, opens the rear door so she can climb up into her seat. At the top of the page in her little-kid scrawl, it says 'My Family,' with a bright yellow sun in a blue sky, a likeness of their house plus three figures and Harley on the green grass in beside it. They're all labeled, but Jared would know who his daughter had painted regardless. Next to Harley is Jared, his stomach nearly disproportionately large; then there's Katelyn, a purple smudge that must be Mr. Whiskers in her arms; and Jensen stands on the other side of her. They're all wearing big smiles, even Harley. “It's beautiful, baby girl.”

Katelyn grins, leaning back in her seat so Jared can buckle her belt. “Thanks, Daddy,” she says as he drops a kiss on her nose.

When they get home, Jared locks the front door and changes into his pajamas as Katelyn sits at the kitchen table to work on what little homework she has to do. She joins him where he's curled up on the couch after a little while and they stay there watching cartoons until Jared has to get up and make dinner. The pain in his back isn't nearly as bad as it was earlier, but now he's getting cramping in his sides. He settles on chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese, something quick so he can lay back down sooner.

Katelyn doesn't pout when Jared makes her take a quick bath right after dinner and puts her to bed early. “Daddy doesn't feel good,” he tells her when she asks why she can't watch _Adventure Time._

She hugs him around the neck and kisses his forehead. “I hope you feel better, Daddy. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Katie-cat,” he says, wincing against a sharp twinge in his side. “Goodnight.”

“'Night.”

The last thing Jared remembers before falling asleep is the breath-stealing pain radiating from his lower back, around his sides to just under the swell of his stomach and the constant flutter of motion of his baby.

Jared wakes to bright light and a faint, steady beeping. Groggily, he opens his eyes and is shocked to find himself in a hospital room. When he turns his head away from the open window, he catches sight of Jensen slumped in the plastic chair pulled close to the side of his bed. Jared reaches for the hand that lays limp on the mattress near his hip. “Jensen?” he starts, voice quiet and raspy with disuse.

Jensen stirs, blinking slowly as he sits up, shadowed eyes going wide in his pale face when he sees that Jared's awake. “Jesus Christ, Jay,” he breathes, leaning forward far enough to cup Jared's cheek in his palm and press a lingering kiss to his forehead. “Scared the shit out of me. Katie, too.”

“Where- where is she?”

“At Aaron's. She's okay.”

“What happened?”

Jensen reaches for the cup and pitcher on the table beside the bed and pours Jared a cup of water. He helps Jared drink slowly before setting it aside. “What do you remember?”

Jared shakes his head. “I had a back ache... I went to bed early.” He settles his hands on his stomach, noticing for the first time that he can't feel the baby's movement. One of the monitors starts beeping faster as Jared's heartbeat increases. “What- Jensen?”

Jensen's hand covers Jared's on his stomach. “He's okay,” Jensen tells him. “Your son's okay.”

“ _Our_ son,” he corrects, moving his hands to hold Jensen's against the obviously smaller swell of his belly. “He's too early. What happened?”

“Eclampsia, the doctor said. You had a seizure. Your blood pressure got too high and- I don't know. Your doctor will have to explain everything. I was just worried about you.”

Jared nods, holds Jensen's hand a little tighter. “How'd I get here?”

“Katie found you. You didn't get her up and she went to look for you... She said you were shaking and you wouldn't wake up. She called me from your phone. God, she sounded so scared.” He runs his free hand over his mouth as he shakes his head. “We almost lost you, Jay.”

“But I'm okay now, right?”

“Yeah,” Jensen whispers, “now. You've been here for nearly a week.”

“A- a _week?_ ”

“You fell into a coma.”

“I...” Swallowing thickly, Jared nods. It's hard to wrap his mind around all of this. “Can I- can I see our son?”

“Our son,” Jensen repeats with a slight shake of his head, a glimmer of wonder in his eyes. “I'll ask your doctor, find out when it's okay for you to start moving around. For now, why don't I go give Aaron a call, have him bring Katelyn up to see you?”

“That would be great. Thanks.” When Jensen makes to stand, Jared clutches his hand and brings it to his face, kisses his knuckles. “I love you.”

There's a long pause before Jensen stands and leans down to press his mouth to Jared's in a chaste kiss. “You, too. Can't wait till you're ready to come back home.”

Jared's released from the hospital three days after he wakes up. Jensen pushes his wheelchair towards the front exit after he's signed the discharge papers, Katelyn skipping along at his side with a blue teddy bear clutched in her hands and the string of a brightly colored balloon that says 'Get Well Soon!' tied around her wrist. “When will Nickolas get to come home?” she asks, pushing the handicapped button that will open the doors.

“Soon,” Jared tells her, shifting in the chair. “He's gotta get a little bit stronger. But it won't be too long.”

“Good.”

There's a sporty new Audi parked at the curb outside the main entrance that looks like it cost more than twice what Jared paid for his house. He's more than surprised when Jensen wheels him towards it. He turns in the chair enough to look at Jensen over his shoulder. “What's that?” he asks, hooking a thumb in the direction of the shiny, black sedan.

“My new car?” Jensen says with a shrug. “With your stitches... and we'll need a car seat for Cole. The backseat of your truck won't be big enough and mine doesn't have a backseat, so...”

“So you just went out and bought a seventy-thousand dollar car?”

“It wasn't seventy grand. And it's not like I don't have the money.”

“It's super-cool, Daddy,” Katelyn says, tugging at the handle of the front passenger side door. “And he let me listen to Kidz Bop.”

“Yeah?” Jared lets Jensen take his bag from his lap and slowly pushes himself up to his feet. The stitches from his C-section pull a little as he stands so he stays hunched over as he climbs into the front seat. He watches in the side mirror as Jensen opens the rear passenger door to help Katelyn into her car seat.

“Can I tell Daddy about the surprise?” Jared hears Katelyn ask in a loud whisper.

“It won't be a surprise if you tell him about it, Katie-cat,” Jensen tells her. There's a hollow _thunk_ as he bonks her head with the balloon and makes her giggle. “He'll see it soon enough.”

When Jensen climbs in front, he glances over at Jared with a smile Jared hasn't seen in a while. Sure, he's seen a few different variations – mostly half-worried or strained – over the past couple of days, but this one is genuine. He hesitates when reaching across the center console, covers Jared's hand with his own where it rests on Jared's thigh. “You ready to go home?”

Jared breathes deep, lets Jensen's woodsy scent fill his lungs and calm him. It's been too long since he's had this. He turns his hand over to slot their fingers together, squeezing gently. “Yeah. Let's go home.”

Jensen smiles again and squeezes back before letting go of his hand to turn the key in the ignition.

The ride back to Jared's house is mostly quiet except for the kiddie covers of Top 40 songs and Katelyn singing along to them from the back seat. His truck is parked along the curb allowing Jensen to pull up into the driveway so Jared doesn't have as far to walk to get inside. It's just another thing he's done – something that might seem small, but is just as big and thoughtful as everything else – to make Jared coming home that much easier.

As soon as Katelyn's out of her seat, she's pulling at the hem of Jensen's shirt, grinning. “Can I open the door?”

“Sure thing, kiddo,” he tells her, dropping the keys into her hands.

Jared has to smile at her happiness, watches her rush up the sidewalk to the front door. He takes the hand Jensen offers him to help him out of the car and lets Jensen brace his weight and guide him up to the house. The first thing he notices is Harley sitting in front of a brand new stroller. He knows it's the type that has a detachable seat to be used as a car seat because he'd looked at getting one for Katelyn when Evan was pregnant with her. But, as tight as money had been, even back then, they'd had to make do with a lot of secondhand things.

Then he notices the toys piled in the corner and on the couch, the laundry basket spilling over with onesies and other tiny clothes, cans of powdered formula and bottles on the table. “Come on, Daddy,” Katelyn says, eyes wide with excitement, skipping towards the hallway. “There's more.”

Jensen's grinning now, too, when Jared glances up at him. He nods his head after Katelyn and takes Jared's hand. “Let's go.”

Katelyn's standing in the doorway to his room at the end of the hall, bouncing on her feet. “I got to help pick stuff out and Jensen let me help him build the bass-net,” she says when he reaches her.

Jared's room has been rearranged. His bed has been pushed back into the corner to allow room for the dark wood and off-white bassinet. He lets his gaze wander over the other changes, the second dresser and the pile of diaper boxes, the colorful blankets folded at the foot of his bed. “This is amazing,” he tells Jensen, tightening his hold on Jensen's hand and leaning into his side. “Really.”

“I wasn't sure what all you'd need... but if there's anything else, just ask.”

“Do you like it, Daddy?” Katelyn asks, crowding up so close to them her head's tilted all the way back.

“It's _awesome_ , baby girl. You and Jensen did a great job on the bassinet.” Jared runs his fingers through her hair and tucks it behind her ear.

Katelyn beams up at him. “Can I go watch _My Little Pony_ now?”

“Of course.”

Jared watches her skip down the hall and for a minute it's hard to believe how much healthier she is now than she was a year ago.

“How're you feeling?” Jensen asks. “Dr. Rivera said you'd probably be pretty tired for a few days and that you shouldn't overexert yourself.”

“I'm good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep.” There's an awkward tension in the ensuing silence like there's never been before. It makes Jared's stomach clench unpleasantly when he sees the look of unease on Jensen's face. “Are _you_ okay?”

“Yeah. I'm fine. I just... We need to talk.”

That doesn't sound good at all. “O-okay.”

“C'mon, let's...” He leads Jared over to the bed, helps him sit on the edge of the mattress before pulling his wallet out of his back pocket and settling next to Jared.

“What's...?”

Jensen opens his wallet and pulls out a worn picture, tattered and creased with age and wear. “This is Amanda and Emma.”

Jared takes the photo, looks at a much younger Jensen with one arm around a pretty dark-haired girl and a dark-haired baby swaddled in a pink blanket in the other. His heart beats a little harder in his chest when he glances up at Jensen. “Are they- Is this...”

“I was fourteen when I realized I was gay. Amanda was my best friend, the first person I told. But my parents were religious. I mean, bible-thumping, condemn-your-immortal-soul-to-the-burning-pits-of-hell-for-your-sins kind of religious. We pretended to date for a few years, moved in together after high school, and our fake relationship started to feel real. I mean, I loved her, I just... wasn't sure if it was how she wanted or if it was enough... I _tried._ To be what she needed, what I thought she wanted.” He licks his lips, keeps his gaze trained on the picture in Jared's hand. “We got married and then we had Emma, and-

“I grew up doing tae kwon do and karate, wrestling in high school, moved up to some amateur boxing before MMA really hit it big. I was on a team, toured quite a bit, made a lot of money. We moved here from Dallas shortly after I joined the UFC. I started the gym. Everything was good.

“Then I had a fight in Vegas a week before Thanksgiving in 2002. Amanda stayed home with Emma – she'd been sick and had an ear infection, so. The lights on the Christmas tree we put up the weekend before I left shorted out. They figured Amanda was so exhausted from Emma keeping us up late since she'd gotten sick. She cried a lot, barely got any sleep herself.

“One of our neighbors called 911 when they saw the flames, but... it was too late. There was nothing anybody could do. They'd fallen asleep together on the couch and just... I didn't think I'd ever get over it. Didn't think I deserved to. It wasn't what I wanted in the beginning, but once I had it?” Jensen looks up at Jared then. “Then I met you. From the moment I saw you, I knew. Felt it in my bones, in my heart. And Katie. _God._ If Emma had-”

Jared's sat still and silent through Jensen's whole revelation, but he can't help but reach out to him now. His own heart hurts and he can't stand the lost look on Jensen's face. He threads their fingers together and holds on tight. “Jensen. I'm so sorry.”

“No, that's- I didn't tell you for you to feel sorry for me. I told you because I needed you to know why I wanted you to try to work things out with Evan. Amanda and I fought a lot when we first found out she was pregnant. I didn't think we were going to stay married forever and having a kid, well, as trapped as I felt, I couldn't just leave her. Them. Then there were a couple times after Emma was born and I was traveling for a fight when I would meet guy that would be... willing. Then I'd think about my family and I just couldn't do it. I should've given up fighting when we had Emma, just focused on the gym and training amateur fighters. I'll never forgive myself for letting them down, for not being there when they needed me. And when Evan came here, he just seemed... remorseful. I wanted him to have that chance I didn't and-”

“It's okay,” Jared interrupts. “It's okay. You're here now. Right?”

Jensen nods, bites at his lip as he holds Jared's stare. “Yeah. I'm here.”

“Good.” Jared shifts – mindful of his stitches – and slides back on the mattress, tugging on Jensen's hand. “Lay with me?”

Jensen nods again, lays down on his side, curling slightly around Jared with a hand on his chest right over his heart. “I missed you. Missed this,” he says, brushing his nose along Jared's cheek before kissing his temple once, twice.

“I can't wait to bring our son home,” Jared whispers, turning his head far enough to catch Jensen's mouth and kissing him until he can't keep his eyes open any longer.

“Me either,” Jensen breathes against his lips, kissing him chastely then burying his face against Jared's throat.

Jared's almost asleep when he hears it.

“I love you,” Jensen says against his skin. “I love you and I'm never leaving you again. Ever. I promise.”

Jared wakes slowly, first aware of the warmth behind him, then the shifting weight in front of him. “Daddy?” he hears Katelyn whisper, feels the ghost of her breath against his face. “You 'wake?” Her nose rubbing his in an Eskimo kiss doesn't come as a surprise.

The bed shakes with Jensen's silent laughter as Katelyn continues to pester him.

“Daddy. C'mon. It's time for lunch.” Another Eskimo kiss. “Daddy,” Katelyn whispers as she presses their foreheads together. “ _Daaaaddy._ ”

Jared cracks an eye open and peers at his daughter in the muted light of his room. “What, baby girl?”

Her eyebrows go up and her eyes go wide, expression saying, _duh._ “It's time for lunch,” she says again, enunciating each word carefully. “Jensen's makin' peanut butter an' jelly.”

“Really?”

“Uh huh,” she nods. “He said that if I want my crusts off I hafta share a apple with him.”

“That sounds like a good lunch.”

“Yeah, I s'pose. So, you comin'?”

“Of course. Can't pass up PB and J. You go get the jelly out of the fridge and the loaf of bread out of the drawer and we'll be there in just a minute.” He kisses her cheek with a loud _smack_ and lets her squirm out of his arms. She drops to the floor with a giggle and runs out of the room.

Jensen shifts behind him, nosing at his hair and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. “Good nap?”

Jared hums, curling into himself a little as he rolls over so he doesn't pull his stitches. “Best sleep I've had in a long time. Was even better waking up with you here.”

Leaning down over him, Jensen covers Jared's mouth with his own, firm press of lips, and he lingers close. “Always gonna be here, Jay.”

With a slow, deep breath, Jared lets Jensen's scent fill his lungs. “Better be. Don't think I could take you leaving again.”

“I won't. It's you and me, and Katie and Cole. _Us._ ”

Jared nods, looking up at Jensen, focusing on his vibrant, green eyes. “Good.” All he wants is this, his daughter, their son – their _family_ – for always. “That's a really good answer.”

Jensen kisses him again, mouth curved up in a smile. “It's the truth.” Sighing, he brushes Jared's hair away from his face. “So. Lunch? We stocked up on groceries the other day. Katie said grape jelly was your favorite.”

“It is.”

“Come on, then. I'll make you a sandwich.”

“Will you cut off my crusts, too?” Jared smirks as he braces himself to sit up.

“You've gotta eat an apple,” Jensen tells him with an answering smile, hand on Jared's back.

“Daddy!” Katelyn shouts from the kitchen.

Laughing, Jared sets his feet on the floor and stands, taking the hand Jensen offers. “I'll eat _two._ ”

“I'm sure you will.” His smile widens into a grin.

As they make their way down the hall, the doorbell rings.

“I'll get it!” Katelyn yells, running into the living room towards the door.

“I don't think so, Katie-cat.” None of Jared's friends are inclined to ring the bell when they drop by; they usually just announce their arrival with a brief knock on the door before letting themselves in. Besides, only a couple of his friends even know he's been released from the hospital.

Jensen helps him to the chair and picks up Katelyn before opening the door. “Hi,” he says, shifting Katelyn from one hip to the other, blocking Jared's view. “Can I help you?”

“Yes?” a woman says uncertainly. Then, more surely,“Yes. I'm looking for Jared Padalecki?”

It's been years since he last heard that voice, but he'd recognize it anywhere. Heart lurching into his throat, he stands with determination and meets Jensen's curious gaze when he steps aside to reveal the woman standing on their front stoop. Jared takes a deep breath but it does nothing to calm his suddenly frazzled nerves and he can't even muster a smile, as fake as he knows it would look. From across the living room, his eyes lock on a pair nearly identical to his own. “Hi, Mom.”

To say Jared's surprised is a huge understatement. His mother is one of the last people (besides, maybe, his father or Evan) he'd ever expect to find outside his door. For one crazy moment, he thinks it would almost be more probable for the president to come knocking. He exchanges a wide-eyed look with Jensen before nodding, and Jensen opens the door the rest of the way as he steps aside to let Jared's mother in.

“Marjorie Olson's daughter Tabitha was a grade behind you in school. She's been interning at the Tribune here in town and saw the birth announcement,” his mother rushes to explain, taking a halting step forward, hands clasped so tightly in front of her chest that her knuckles are white.

“We're gonna go start lunch,” Jensen says, making to close the door.

Jared's mother steps out of the way and gives Jensen a cautious smile that widens as she regards Katelyn.

Katelyn's expression is wary and Jared watches as she tightens her hold around Jensen's neck.

“I'll be in in a minute,” Jared tells Jensen, lightly touching his elbow as he passes on his way to the kitchen. When he's alone with his mother, he sighs and motions towards the couch. “So Marjorie Olson told you about the birth announcement...” he prompts as he slowly sits down.

“Marjorie is a friend of mine from Good Shepherd Lutheran Church. After you left, I looked for a church that was more accepting of your... lifestyle? sexual preference? Well, of gays at any rate.”

“Okay,” Jared says, trying to imagine devout Catholic Sharon Padalecki willingly leaving the church she was very nearly raised in for a gay-affirming Lutheran church.

“Jared, I never agreed with anything your father said and he was only repeating things that we were brought up to believe in the church. But we're somewhere new now and he's worked very hard to change his faith and those views.” She pauses. “Besides, it was never that Evan was a boy that bothered _me-_ ”

“You said it broke your heart to see me with that _boy_ ,” Jared interjects, anger rising.

“ _No_ ,” Sharon says, shaking her head emphatically and scooting closer to him to put a hand on his knee. “ _That_ boy. Evan. He didn't respect you. I could see that he wasn't the kind of man that was ready to be in a serious relationship. He wasn't as serious about you as you were about him. I knew you could do better. Never knew what you saw in him.”

Jared's not sure if she's expecting an answer, unsure if she's playing some kind of mind game, but he gives her one regardless. “I loved him. And I thought he loved me back. It was really good for a while, but I was eighteen, so what did I know? Then he got pregnant and after Dad- After that argument we had, I knew he'd never accept me and what would he say about the baby? What would he do? So we ran away together.”

“Jared.”

“You were right, though. Evan didn't really love me, didn't respect me. And he tried to stick it out for Katelyn, our daughter,” he says, gesturing towards the kitchen, “but as soon as things got tough, he was gone.”

“I'm so sorry, Jared,” she says, fingers squeezing gently. “I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, that your father was such a stubborn, narrow-minded idiot.”

Jared shrugs. His whole life would be different if he'd known he could've gone home. “Everything happens for a reason, right? I never would've met Jensen and we wouldn't've had Cole if I went back. My life hasn't been easy and there have been a lot of bad days, but I wouldn't trade any of it because all of that led me here and I've never been happier.”

Sharon's hand moves from his knee to his wrist. “I'm so happy for you, Jared. And I want you to tell me all about it. If you want. And I want to be a part of your life again, if you'll have me.”

Jared sees the hope plain in her eyes and he believes her. He turns his hand over, reaching for hers so he can give it a squeeze. “Okay,” he says, “I'd really like that.” He doesn't think his heart could feel any lighter or more full.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I missed you, Mama.”

“Oh, baby.” There are tears in her eyes when she presses the palm of her other hand against his cheek before straining up to kiss his forehead. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Jared hunches over to hug her, burying his face in her hair. She still smells like lavender, just how he remembers. “So... Do you want to meet your granddaughter?”

His mother's smile grows impossibly wider.

Jared finds himself feeling slightly insecure when he leads his mother into his very modest kitchen. Katelyn's already at the table eating her triangle-cut, crust-free sandwich. There's a small glass of milk next to her plate where a few slices of apple and half of her sandwich still remain. Jensen sets down the butter knife he was using to spread the peanut butter and starts putting the jellied and peanut buttered halves together. “Jensen,” he says, feeling more awkward than he has in a while, introducing his mother to his lover in his kitchen with his daughter looking on. “This is my mom, Sharon. Mom, this is Jensen. My... boyfriend.” They haven't really discussed labels, but if their earlier conversation is anything to go by, they're at least committed to each other.

Jensen wipes his hands off on a dishtowel before reaching for Sharon's. “It's nice to meet you, ma'am.”

“Sherri, please,” Sharon tells him, clasping his hand between both of hers. “It's my pleasure.”

“We were just having lunch. Peanut butter and jelly, if you're interested.”

She glances at Jared as though asking for permission.

“You're more than welcome to join us, Mama,” Jared tells her.

“I'd love to.”

“Would you like milk or water, Sherri?” Jensen asks, reaching for another glass from the cabinet.

“Milk, please.”

Jared pulls the chair across from Katelyn out from the table. “Katelyn, this is my mama, your grandma. Mama, that's Katelyn.”

Katelyn's eyebrows scrunch together as she licks grape jelly from between her fingers. “I didn't know you had a mama.”

“I do. A long, long time ago, before you were born, I left home and moved out here with your... papa. The place where I used to live is kind of far away,” he explains, omitting the _reasons_ he left.

“Oh. Do I got a grampa, too?”

“You sure do, baby.”

“Do you have a mama and a daddy, Jensen?” Katelyn asks, tilting her head sideways as she looks at him.

“I do, kiddo,” he says, sliding plates of sandwiches and apple slices onto the table in front of Jared and his mother before retrieving their glasses of milk. He grabs his own plate and glass and takes his seat next to her. “They live in Dallas and I haven't seen them in a while.”

“Oh.” Katelyn swipes a glob of peanut butter from one of the triangles of her sandwich and sucks it off her finger. “Will they come visit us?”

Jared exchanges a look with Jensen, watches him shrug and nod. “Maybe.”

They eat in silence for a few moments before Katelyn pipes back up. “Maybe we should have a party for Cole when he comes home and all my grammas and grampas and Abby and her mom and dad can come.”

“The baby's not home?” Sharon interjects, concern evident in her hazel eyes.

“No, not yet,” Jared tells her. “He was premature so they've gotta monitor him, make sure he's good and healthy. We should be able to bring him home by the end of the week. Next week at the latest.”

“So... can we?” Katelyn asks, leaning over her empty, handmade plate, flapping her last apple slice in front of her face as she looks at Jared with wide eyes.

“Can we what?”

“Have a party for Cole!” she says exasperatedly.

“We'll see. Finish your lunch.” He watches her take a big bite of her apple slice before turning his gaze down to his own plate, which matches Katelyn's from the afternoon they spent at a ceramic workshop last summer before they moved.

“I'm done,” Katelyn mumbles around a mouthful of chewed-up apple. “Can I show Gramma my room?”

“Sure.”

“Are you done with your lunch?” Katelyn asks his mother.

“I am,” Sharon says with another of those wide smiles.

Hopping down from her chair, Katelyn rounds the table and reaches up for Sharon's hand. “C'mon, Gramma.”

Jared watches them go with a smile of his own before glancing up at Jensen across from him. Jensen's not nearly as amused. “What?”

“You forgave her awfully quickly,” Jensen says, eyes focused on his plate.

“She's my mom. And it was all a big misunderstanding.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. It was Evan she had a problem with, not that he was a guy.”

Jensen bites his lip and sighs. “Okay,” he finally says, looking up at Jared.

Jared reaches across the table to take Jensen's hand. “She's my mom,” he repeats.

“I know, Jay. I just... I don't want you to get hurt. You've been through enough.”

“Thank you for worrying, but I think everything's gonna be fine.”

“Okay. If you're sure.”

“I am.”

“Then...” he starts with a shrug, shaking his head. “I guess that's good enough for me.” Jensen stands from the table and starts gathering their dishes.

“Hey,” Jared says before Jensen can turn away from him. “I love you.”

Jensen cracks a grin and shakes his head, crossing the short distance to the sink. “I love you, too.”

“You about ready to go?” Jared asks Jensen as he enters the kitchen.

Jensen's at the table with Jared's laptop, Facebook open on the screen. With a couple clicks of the mouse, he's logged out and closing the browser window. “Yeah,” he says with a glance over his shoulder before turning on the chair and reaching a hand out towards Jared, curling two fingers through one of his belt loops and drawing him in.

Jared steps into the vee of Jensen's thighs and runs his fingertips through his short hair as he leans in for a kiss. “Did you get the car seat strapped in?”

“I did. Is Katie ready?” His hands settle on Jared's hips, thumbs pushing up under his t-shirt to find the smooth skin of his belly just beneath his healing caesarean scar.

“She's putting on her shoes now.” Jared links his fingers together behind Jensen's neck and kisses him again. “I can't believe we get to bring him home today.”

“I'm ready!” Katelyn shouts as she skips into the kitchen grabbing Jensen's hand in one of hers and the hem of Jared's shirt in the other. “Let's go!”

“Somebody's excited,” Jensen laughs as he stands, stooping over to pick Katelyn up and settle her on his hip.

“My baby brother's comin' home,” she says with big eyes and an even bigger smile, hugging Jensen's neck. “And we get to have a party.”

“Just a little one,” Jared reminds her. It'll just be them, Aaron, Sarah, and Abby, a couple friends and coworkers. Possibly his parents. Everyone's been surprisingly understanding, especially considering the circumstances.

“But there's gonna be a cake, right?”

Jared kisses her forehead. “Of course, baby girl.”

Jensen grins at him over Katelyn's shoulder. “So what are we waiting for?” He tickles Katelyn's side and she bursts into a fit of giggles, face pressed to Jensen's chest as she tries to push his hand away.

There's only one thing that could make the sight in front of Jared more perfect and they'll be picking him up from the hospital in less than half an hour. “Come on, guys. Let's go get Cole.”

Bringing home their son is one of the greatest feelings. They've got a few hours to settle in before their friends start arriving for Cole's welcome home party so Jared figures there's plenty of time for them to spend together as a family before he has to start setting out food. He lets Jensen bring Cole in in his carrier and continues through the house to the back door to let Harley out before giving Katelyn a nod. “Let's all go outside.”

“Are you sure?” Jensen asks, carefully unbuckling Cole from the car seat and slipping his hand underneath Cole's tiny body and gently lifting him to his chest.

“You heard Dr. Garcia,” Jared tells him. “He's perfectly healthy. And the weather's too nice.”

“When will Cole be big enough to play with me?” Katelyn asks from the doorway.

“It's gonna be a while,” Jared says crossing the room to kneel down beside her. “He'll probably start crawling sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, then we'll have to wait until his birthday, probably, before he's walking.”

“That's a long time.”

“I know. But there are some toys you can show him how to use and you can read to him. And there's other stuff you can help with as a big sister like singing to him when he's crying and learning how to feed him, helping to give him a bath.”

“I guess.”

“He's not gonna be a whole lot of fun right now because he's just a baby, but when he gets bigger, I bet he'll follow you around wherever you go.”

“Like Harley used to when he was a baby?”

Jensen laughs behind him, Cole cradled in his arms. “Yeah, baby girl. Just like that.”

“Okay.” She seems satisfied enough with that and heads outside with Harley.

Jared slowly climbs to his feet and moves to open the back door for Jensen. Katelyn's tossing a sun-faded tennis ball for Harley back by the fence, keeping them both occupied as Jared and Jensen settle on the glider on the small patio.

“This is pretty perfect, isn't it?” Jensen asks after a couple of quiet minutes.

Jared stretches his arm out across the back of the seat behind Jensen and leans in to press a kiss to his lips. “Yeah,” Jared says, glancing over at Katelyn and Harley, then down at Cole before looks back up at Jensen. “It is.”

The party goes off without a hitch. Mostly. There's a strained moment when Jared glances up from the sight of Jensen with Cole cuddled against his chest to see his parents coming through the creaky gate at the side of the house. His mother is smiling but his father's face is carefully blank.

Jensen seems to sense his discomfort and shifts in his chair to follow Jared's gaze. A muscle in his jaw jumps like he's holding back from saying something, then he turns back to Jared. “You okay?”

Jared nods. “I'm good. It'll be fine.” He takes a deep breath and stands, squeezing Jensen's shoulder gently as he passes. It's more nerve-wracking than he imagined, approaching his dad after all this time. Jared leans down to hug his mom and kiss her on the cheek. “I'm glad you could make it,” he says, eyes sliding from her happy, open face to his father's neutral expression.

A muscle in his dad's jaw twitches – the same one ticking in Jensen's, Jared's sure – as he reaches a hand out for Jared to shake. “Thank you for inviting us,” he says, expression still betraying nothing.

Jared grasps his hand, gives it a firm shake the way he was taught. “Jensen has Cole if you want to meet him,” he tells them both.

His mother's smile grows impossibly wider and she squeezes his forearm gently. “I'm glad you're doing so well. Both of you.” She pauses, eyes gone a little squinty before she amends, “ _All_ of you.”

“Thanks, Mama.” Jared watches her go, approaching Jensen with a small hand on his shoulder as she leans over him to look at Cole. He can't hear what she's saying, but she's smiling still and the way Jensen's holding himself relaxes. He turns back towards his dad. “Can I get you something to drink? We've got water, lemonade, sweet tea. Or I've got coffee in the house.”

“Sweet tea, please,” his father says. Then, almost as an afterthought, “Thank you.”

Jared nods, heads over to the table set up under the shade of an awning where the drinks and some of the food is being kept cool on ice and pours a glass of sweet tea for his dad, turning around in time to see Katelyn walking up to him. Well, this should be interesting.

Katelyn glances up at Jared as he nears. “Hi, Daddy. Who's he?” she asks, pointing at his father.

“This is your grandpa.” He meets his father's eyes. “Dad, this is Katelyn.”

Katelyn thrusts her hand up in the air. “Hi, Grampa.”

Jared's dad is at a loss for words for a long moment before he reaches out and shakes Katelyn's tiny hand. “Hello, Katelyn. It's nice to meet you.”

“It's nice to meet you, too,” she says politely. “Did you know that we've got cupcakes? Jensen let me put the sprinkles on. Do you want one? Daddy said I could have two.” She grabs hold of his fingers and starts leading him away, not questioning the sudden introduction of her grandfather just as she hadn't her grandmother when they first met. She's just accepting it in that way that kids do.

Jared doesn't hold back his smile at the look on his father's face, handing him his tea as he's dragged away towards the cupcakes by a seven-year-old. He makes his way over to Jensen and his mother, who are both watching as Katelyn stands on her tip-toes to look at the cupcakes on the table.

Jared's mother laughs. “Jerry didn't stand a chance.”

Something in Jared's dad eases after that. He sits at one of the picnic tables with Katelyn beside him as they eat hot dogs and potato salad and some kind of cherry fluff that Sarah brought. Then they each have another cupcake.

It's strange to have his parents in his backyard, to have his whole family here in one place. It's not like a dream come true or anything, mostly because Jared never could have imagined reconciling with his dad. They've still got a lot to talk about but, for now, his dad is smiling as Katelyn regales him with some story and his mom is fussing over Cole where he's now cradled in her arms, Jensen at her elbow.

Jensen looks up at him then, as if sensing Jared's gaze on him, and they share a smile. A weight he hadn't realized he was carrying falls from his shoulders as something loosens in his chest. A whole new chapter in his life is starting today. And today is a good day.

After everyone goes home, Jared's parents leaving last after staying for coffee, they gather in the living room to wind down after a pretty eventful afternoon. Katelyn skips out of the kitchen licking the frosting from her third cupcake from her fingers.

“If you throw up-” Jared starts before Jensen interrupts him.

“Daddy's gonna clean it up,” Jensen laughs, carefully settling a sleeping Cole into Jared's arms.

Jared laughs and strokes his thumb over Cole's cheek. “I don't think so. I'm on baby duty, therefore, _you_ are on puke duty.”

Katelyn climbs up onto the couch next to Jared and rests her head on his shoulder to look down at her brother. “I'm not gonna puke.”

“You better not.”

“I was just hungry.”

“Keep eating like that,” Jensen says as he squeezes in behind her, “and you'll be tall as your daddy in no time.” He fits his hands under her arms, pulling her onto his lap before standing up and setting her on her feet. “How about you go find your jammies and get ready for bed, then we can watch a movie?”

“ _Despicable Me_?”

“If you want.” He grins as Katelyn races out of the living room and turns back to Jared. “I'm gonna go finish cleaning up quick. You need anything?”

Jared looks down at Cole. “Nope. I'm good.” He watches Jensen head towards the kitchen and closes his eyes focusing on the feel of Cole breathing in his arms. Down the hall, he can hear Katelyn in her room as she gets her pajamas on. The back door opens with a low squeak as Jensen goes outside and Jared can hear Harley bark a greeting.

“Daddy!” Katelyn says loudly, bouncing onto the couch beside him. “You can't fall asleep when you're holdin' the baby. You might drop him.”

“I wasn't sleeping,” Jared tells her. Cole's little face scrunches up and Jared knows what's coming next.

Apparently, Katelyn does, too. “Uh oh. Sorry, Daddy.”

Cole cries loud and long and it's just a testament to how much stronger he is now than he was during those first few days in the hospital. “It's okay, baby girl.” He shifts Cole up onto his shoulder and rubs his back gently. “Why don't you put your movie in?” Jared stands from the couch and paces the length of the room as he tries to calm Cole down.

“Who pinched the baby?” Jensen asks when he comes back inside, Harley at his heels.

“Katelyn,” Jared says, grinning when she spins around from the shelf of DVDs.

“Nuh-uh,” she says, eyes wide. “I ax-dently woke him up 'cause Daddy fell asleep and almost dropped him.”

“I didn't almost drop him,” Jared argues. “I wasn't even asleep.”

“Your eyes were closed.”

“Doesn't mean I was sleeping.”

Jensen shakes his head from the doorway and smiles at them. “The movie ready?”

“Yep.” Katelyn crawls from the entertainment stand over to the coffee table and picks up the remote to the TV to change the input to the DVD player. “Can we have popcorn, too?”

“How can you still be hungry?” Jensen laughs, crouching down to gather Katelyn into his arms and carry her over to the couch.

“I dunno,” she squeals.

“Well, I'll make popcorn if you help me make a bottle for Cole. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Bring me a piece of cake?” Jared asks as he sits back down on the couch. Cole whimpers against his chest and Harley trots over from where he was laying by the door to sit at his feet and make sure everything's okay.

Katelyn skips into the living room with a juice box in one hand and Cole's bottle in the other. She carefully climbs up onto the couch next to Jared and hands the bottle over. “Here you go, Daddy.”

“Thanks, baby.”

Jensen follows a couple of minutes later with a bowl of popcorn and Jared's cake. He sets the bowl on the coffee table and starts the movie before helping Katelyn get her straw into her juice box and trading the plate of cake for Cole and his bottle.

Over Katelyn's head, Jared watches Jensen settle into the opposite corner of the couch. “What?” Jensen asks, glancing over and meeting his gaze.

“Nothing. Just... nothing.”

Jensen smirks. “You sure?”

Jared just grins and cuts into the cake with his fork, eyes focused on his plate. “Yup.”

Jared turns his truck into the driveway behind Jensen's car and puts it into park before shutting off the engine. He sits there for a few long minutes and breathes slow and deep, trying to fight the exhaustion of his first full day back at work that's settled into bones and weighs him down. He doesn't want to go back, misses spending all day with his family.

Pulling the keys out of the ignition, Jared pushes open his door and climbs out of the truck. As he nears the front door, he can hear Cole screaming bloody murder from inside. He jogs up the rest of the walk and skips a step on his way to the door, shoving through it without stopping. “What's going on?” he calls out, walking through the living room and down the hall to the bedroom.

Jensen's standing in the middle of the room with Cole cradled against his chest, head tucked up under his chin as he bounces lightly. “He's been like this most of the day. I've been trying to put him down for a nap for nearly an hour,” Jensen explains, shaking his head. “I don't know what's wrong. He's not wet, not hungry. I burped him...”

“Here. Let me try.” Jared shoves his keys into his pocket and reaches out for Cole.

Jensen passes their son over after hesitating for the briefest moment. He crosses his arms over his chest as he stands there and watches Jared nestle Cole high on his chest and rub his back gently with one hand spanning his whole tiny back. Cole quiets down quickly, screams turning to cries turning to whimpers.

“It's probably a scent thing,” Jared tells him. “Katelyn was the same way with me and Evan when she was first born.”

Rubbing his hands over his face, Jensen sighs. “How long did that last?”

“A few days,” Jared says. “Maybe a week.”

“This sucks.”

“I know.” He shifts Cole down into the crook of his arm and steps closer to Jensen. “Where's Katelyn?”

“Out back with Harley. Away from the screaming.”

Jared settles Cole into Jensen's arms. “Lay with him on our bed. Our combined scents will be strongest there and it'll help keep him calmed down. I'll go check on Katelyn.” He runs a finger across Cole's forehead and leans in to kiss Jensen. “Be right back.”

“We'll be right here.”

Jared heads back down the hall and kicks his shoes off by the front door before going into the kitchen, opening the back door.

“Daddy!” Katelyn yells when she sees him, dropping Harley's ball and running over to him.

Jared picks her up and settles her on his hip. “Did you miss me?”

Katelyn wraps her arms around Jared's neck and hugs him tight. “ _Yeah._ You were gone for _ever._ ”

“It wasn't _that_ long. Just a few hours.”

“Felt like a really, really long time. Cole's been crying all day. I think he missed you, too.”

“I think you're right. Me and Jensen are gonna lay down with him for a little bit so I want you to come in the house.”

“Can I lay down with you, too?”

“Sure can, baby girl. Just wash your hands.”

“Okay.” She wiggles until Jared lets her go and skips into the house.

“C'mon, Harley. Inside.”

Harley barks and lopes over to Jared, head-butting his knee. Jared scratches behind his ears and leads him over to the door, opening it and letting him in. After adding more water to Harley's bowl, Jared heads back to his bedroom. Katelyn's already there, curled up on her side next to her brother. Jared takes his keys, phone, and wallet out of his pockets, setting his alarm for an hour before setting everything on the nightstand and closing the curtains.

Jared climbs onto the mattress behind Katelyn and smiles at Jensen as he reaches for his hand.

Jensen laces their fingers together and squeezes. “I have so much more respect for you,” he says quietly. “I barely survived today on my own. Don't know how you did it for so long.”

“You'd be surprised what you're capable of. You would've been fine. And you'll get better at handling it. Just need to adjust.”

Jensen grunts in acknowledgment and rubs his thumb along the back of Jared's. “Glad I'm not alone. Glad you're not anymore, either.”

“Me, too,” Katelyn says sleepily before Jared can respond. “You make Daddy happy. And you make me happy 'cause you're my Papa now.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm. We're a family, so you're my Papa.”

“Yeah, we are, baby girl,” Jared says, kissing the top of her head and grinning at Jensen.

They fall asleep like that, together, curled around each other. And it's the best feeling.

  
**EPILOGUE**   


_Three months later..._

“Happy birthday, Daddy!” Katelyn yells as she jumps on the bed behind Jared. She bounces on her knees and tugs at the blanket until he rolls over and grabs her around the waist. She squeals and giggles and futilely bats at his tickling fingers.

“What is all this racket?” Jensen asks from the doorway of their room with a wide grin, holding Cole against his chest.

“Some little monkey was jumping on the bed and woke the tickle monster,” Jared tells him, worming his fingers under Katelyn's armpit and making her laugh even harder.

“I see. Well, _some little monkey_ was supposed to let you know that breakfast is ready.”

“Break- breakfast is-” Katelyn gets out through her giggling, “it's ready! Dad- _Daddy! Stop!_ I gotta- I gotta _potty!_ ”

Jared stops immediately – the last thing he needs is Katelyn peeing herself all over him and the bed. As soon as he lets her go, she's jumping down from the bed and darting over to Jensen, ducking behind his leg.

Laughing again, she points at Jared. “Got you!” she says, waggling her finger. “I was kiddin'!”

Jared sits up and fixes her with a squinty stare that sends her running.

“You better not make her pee her pants,” Jensen says solemnly as Jared passes, grabbing hold of the front of his tee and pulling him in for a kiss. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Jared says against his lips, kissing him again, slowly. He drops another kiss to Cole’s forehead and chases after Katelyn. He tugs her out from underneath the kitchen table and swings her up onto his hip, pressing a loud, smacking kiss to the side of her neck.

Katelyn wraps her arms around his neck. “Love you, Daddy.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.” He hugs her close and turns to look at the food set out on the table. There's pancakes, eggs, toast, and extra-crispy bacon.

“Happy birthday, Jay,” Jensen tells him as he comes into the kitchen. He settles Cole into the bassinet next to the table and gestures to Jared's chair. “Sit so we can eat before it all gets cold.”

“Yeah, Daddy,” Katelyn agrees, wiggling in his arms. “Sit.”

Harley wanders in and sits next to Katelyn's chair with its booster seat.

“Not you, dummy,” Jared tells the dog. He helps Katelyn into her chair and picks up the plate with the pancakes and helps Jensen dish up breakfast. “So...” he says as he settles into his own chair. “What's the plan for today?”

“Barbeque's supposed to start around one but Aaron and Sarah will be here around noon to help get things set up,” Jensen replies, dousing his pancakes with syrup.

“Is Abby coming?” Katelyn asks, breaking a piece of bacon in half and dropping it onto the floor for Harley.

“Of course,” Jensen says. “And then later... you and Cole get to spend the night over at her house.”

Jared catches Jensen's gaze across the table and raises his eyebrows in question. “That's the first I've heard of this.”

“Well, I've got _other_ plans for us tonight starting with dinner.”

“I see,” Jared says, cutting Katelyn's pancakes into bite-sized squares. “Will there at least be cake?”

“Yeah! Will there be cake?” Katelyn looks as eager as Jared feels, however, about completely different things. He and Jensen haven't had a _real_ moment alone together since before Christmas. Even at night, they've still got Cole in their room so they can't be as intimate as they'd like to be. And the brief, stolen minutes during shared showers don't really count as intimate.

“Absolutely,” Jensen tells her with a grin.

“Of course, _your_ birthday's coming up soon, too,” Jared says, squeezing some syrup onto Katelyn's pancakes. “Have you been thinking about what you want?”

“Uh huh,” Katelyn says, stabbing at her eggs and shoving a forkful into her mouth. “I want a baby sister.”

Jared's rendered speechless, glances at Jensen who's covering his smile with his hand. “I don't know about that, baby girl. What else?”

“A kitten?” she asks with a shrug.

“I think Harley would eat it,” Jensen says, reaching for his coffee.

“Nuh-uh,” Katelyn says as she crosses her arms over her chest before glancing down at Harley. He's sitting as close as possible to her chair and is looking at her expectantly, waiting for more bacon. He huffs and licks his own nose and Katelyn looks a little less certain in her belief that Harley wouldn't eat a kitten.

“Eat while you think,” Jared tells her, tapping her plate with his fork.

Katelyn stuffs her mouth full of pancake in response.

The barbeque is more fun than Jared was expecting it to be. Harley behaves himself, Cole rarely cries, Katelyn is easily appeased with a heavily frosted cupcake. Aaron and Sarah are there, and Mark, Dan, Tim, and their girlfriends show up, as well as Alice and a couple of his other coworkers. It's a small but good turnout for his birthday. He would've been fine spending the day with Jensen and the kids, but it's nice to get a chance to talk to the friends he hasn't seen in a while and hang out with people his own age – aside from Jensen – for the first time in months.

“So?” Jensen asks, sidling up to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. “That wasn't too bad, was it?”

“I had a good time,” Jared tells him, leaning in for a kiss. “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me yet. We're just getting started.”

“Oh, really?”

“Mmhmm,” Jensen hums against his mouth as he pulls Jared in, sliding a hand across his stomach and up his side. “Got plans for you.”

“Get a room!” Aaron shouts from where he's cleaning the grill.

Sarah punches him in the shoulder. “Jerk.”

Aaron grins and gives Jared a wink. “I'm just about done here. Will the kids be ready soon?”

“Yeah,” Jensen says, still looking at Jared with this little half-smile curling his mouth. “I'll go get their bags together.” His hands skim Jared's hips as he pulls away.

Jared watches him go before heading over to where Sarah is cleaning up the picnic table. “Jensen give you any idea what you guys are doing tonight?” she asks.

“Just that we're going out for dinner at some point,” Jared tells her as he reaches for the plate that held the burgers.

“I'm sure you'll have fun.”

Aaron snorts a laugh as he walks up to them, slinging his arm over Jared's shoulder. “All _kinds_ of _fun,_ ” he says, waggling his eyebrows.

“With any luck,” Jared agrees.

“Trust me,” Jensen says from behind them as he reaches for Jared's hand and threads their fingers together, “luck's got nothing to do with it – just lots of careful planning.”

It doesn't take long to put away the leftovers and clean up what little garbage was left outside. Jared and Jensen are kissing the kids goodbye and helping to get them settled in the backseat of Aaron and Sarah's car by four. They wave as the car drives away and turn to look at each other. “No kids,” Jared says with a bit of wonderment.

“Whatever will we do?” Jensen asks with a smirk, one eyebrow arched.

“I can think of a few things.”

“Yeah? Any of 'em involve me, you, and the shower?”

Jared grins. “They do now.”

“Good.” Jensen pulls Jared down for a quick kiss before grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the house. “C'mon. Don't want to waste a minute with you tonight.”

Jared finally pulls Jensen out of the shower when the water starts to run cold. He pushes him up against the sink and leans down for a long, slow kiss, palms skimming over his wet back to hug him close. “How much time've we got?” he whispers against his lips.

“Dunno,” Jensen says, clutching at him. “Reservation's for seven.”

“So-”

“Yeah, we've got time.”

Jared reaches for his wrists and backs out of the bathroom, pulling Jensen out into the hall and then to their bedroom, dragging him down onto the bed when the backs of his knees hit the mattress. Spreading his legs, he lets Jensen settle between his thighs as he arches his back to get better contact with Jensen's skin. He tilts his head to the side to bare his neck to Jensen's biting kisses, one hand sliding down to graze the muscled curve of Jensen's ass while the other attempts and fails to grasp the short, damp strands of Jensen's hair. “God, I missed this.”

Jensen leaves a reddened trail of skin as he moves down Jared's body, nipping at his collarbones, each nipple, over his ribs and across his stomach, pausing to delve his tongue into Jared's belly button, making him laugh. Jensen's nose and teeth graze the sensitive crease of skin from hipbone to groin, then he's dragging the flat of his tongue up the underside of Jared's dick and swallowing it down in one smooth motion that leaves Jared curling in on himself and grunting. “Yeah,” Jensen says, pulling off a little to look up at Jared, “I missed this, too.”

Breath hitching, Jared lets his legs flop open wider, exposing himself to Jensen completely. As good as it feels, though, there's something he wants more than Jensen's mouth on him. “Jen,” he says, fingertips carding through Jensen's hair. “C'mon. Need you in me.”

Jensen hums around him and pulls off again, groaning and dropping his forehead against Jared's hip after glancing towards the nightstand where there's lube and condoms in the drawer.

“What?” Jared asks, ruffling the short hairs at Jensen's nape.

“It's already five-thirty.”

“That must've been a really long shower.”

“We ran out of hot water.”

“It was worth it, though. Love feeling your hands on me.”

“Mmhmm,” Jensen agrees, climbing back up Jared's body. “But... with traffic, it's probably going to take us about an hour to get across town.”

Jared wraps his arms around Jensen's shoulders. “Maybe we should just stay right here in this bed.”

“As tempting as that is,” Jensen says as he meets Jared's gaze, “I've got _plans_ for us later.”

“Well, I've got _plans_ for us right now.”

Laughing, Jensen buries his face in the side of Jared's neck and bites him gently. “God, I want to. But trust me. You're gonna enjoy tonight.”

Jared lets go of him with a sigh. “Fine. Can you at least tell me where we're going for dinner?”

“Gianni's Italian Steakhouse.”

“Man after my own heart,” Jared laughs, rolling Jensen over and pinning him to the mattress with a kiss. He settles himself over Jensen's hips and grinds down against him. “But there _will_ be sex later.”

“All night if you want to. After dinner and- and the other thing I've got planned.”

“This other thing better be really good if I'm postponing awesome sex with you for it.”

“I think it is. You'll just have to wait and see.”

“Yeah, well. I suppose we better get dressed.” Jared can't help the trace of bitterness in his voice.

Jensen laughs and presses a quick kiss to Jared's temple. “Only if you want your surprise later.”

Jared climbs off the bed and stands there looking down at his naked more-than-just-a-boyfriend. He puts one hand out to his side, elbow bent, palm up. “Sex,” he says before putting out his other hand in the same manner, “or a surprise.” He lifts and lowers his hands like scales, weighing his options.

“ _Dinner_ and a surprise,” Jensen corrects. “And probably dessert.”

Jared laughs and holds a hand out to Jensen to pull him up from the bed. “You drive a hard bargain, mister.”

Jensen grins. “You love me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“I don't think I could eat another bite,” Jared complains with a groan and a pat to his belly, eying the remains of his porterhouse and pasta.

“Does that mean you're saying 'no' to dessert?” Jensen asks with a smirk.

Closing his eyes, Jared takes a deep breath and fights the urge to undo the top button of his slacks. “No... What did you have in mind?”

Jensen lifts a hand to flag down their waitress and she promptly starts to clear their empty dishes. “Anything for dessert?” she asks.

“The raspberry sorbet,” Jensen says a little uncertainly.

“Good choice. One serving or two?”

“One,” Jared answers for Jensen. “But bring two spoons, please.”

The waitress smiles at him. “I'll bring that right out.”

“Thank you.”

Jared surprises himself by eating more than half of the sorbet, much to Jensen's delight, causing him to press a kiss to Jensen's laughing mouth, tasting the sweetness of the shared dessert on his cold tongue when he can't stop himself from deepening the kiss.

Jensen signs the receipt and tucks his credit card back into his wallet when the waitress returns with the little leather folder. “Have a good night,” she tells them as they stand.

“Thanks,” Jared says, reaching for Jensen's hand. “You, too.”

When they get to the car outside, Jensen pushes Jared up against the passenger's side door, hands fisted in the back of his shirt as he kisses him hard. “Ready for your surprise?”

“Absolutely,” Jared mutters, arms draped loosely over Jensen's shoulders, hands clasped behind his neck. He gently bites at Jensen's bottom lip and tugs before letting go and tracing the fullness with his tongue. “Sooner we get to your _surprise_ , the sooner we get to sex.”

Laughing again, Jensen releases the back of Jared's shirt and reaches for the door handle. “Guess we better get moving then.”

Jared moves out of the way and gets in the car when Jensen opens the door for him. “Do I get any hints?” he asks when Jensen climbs in behind the wheel.

“No,” Jensen says, reaching for something in the console between the seats. “As a matter of fact...” He holds a scrap of dark fabric out to Jared.

“Is this... is this a _blindfold_?” Jared asks incredulously as he unfolds the soft fabric.

“Yeah. Put it on.”

“Why?”

Jensen just smiles at him and rolls his eyes. “Because. I want your surprise to be a _surprise._ Now put it on. And no peeking.”

Shaking his head, Jared lifts the blindfold to his eyes and ties it around the back of his head. “This _surprise_ better be worth it. And the sex we're having later-”

“If you behave and don't peek, I'll let you do whatever you want to with that blindfold later. You can blindfold _me,_ ” he offers. “Or tie me up...”

Well. That puts some interesting images in Jared's head and he shifts a little in his seat. “Fine,” he concedes. “No peeking.”

Jensen leans across the short space between them in the front seat and presses a kiss to Jared's mouth. “Good boy.”

Jensen holds Jared's hand for the whole drive, Jared's unobscured senses working overtime to compensate for his inability to see where they're going. He's limited by the confines of the car but feels the shift and pull as they turn corners in the city, the press of gravity when they pick up speed merging onto the highway. They keep up light conversation about work and a little about the kids, but Jared tries to place their distance from the restaurant and their position in the city by how many songs they listen to.

Jared's not sure, but he thinks they're close to home. His sense of time is skewed because Jensen's got Skynyrd's _One More from the Road_ queued up and the live tracks are throwing him off. 'Crossroads' is fading into 'Free Bird' when the car slows and finally stops what Jared thinks might be forty-five minutes later. Maybe an hour. Of course, he has no idea what traffic was like or how fast they were going, so they could be just about anywhere. “Are we there yet?” he asks, squeezing Jensen's hand.

“As a matter of fact,” Jensen says as he lets go to put the car in park and shut off the engine, music fading out, “this is it.”

“So, can I-” Jared starts, reaching up to push the blindfold off.

“Not yet,” Jensen tells him, stilling his movement with a hand on his wrist. “Hold on for a sec.”

Jared hears Jensen open and close his door, his own opening a couple moments later. He fumbles for his seat belt and startles when Jensen grabs his hand. “Sorry,” he laughs.

“Come on,” Jensen says, smile obvious in his voice as he pulls Jared's hand until he slides out of the car to stand close beside him. The door shuts with a muffled thump, then Jensen's threading their fingers together and leading Jared away from the car and towards... something. The firmness of concrete beneath his shoes gives way to the soft cushion of grass and Jensen stops sixteen paces into the lawn or whatever grassy area they're on. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Jared echoes, turning his body towards Jensen's beside him.

“You can take off the blindfold now.”

Both of Jared's hands go up to push the fabric off. It soundlessly falls to the ground behind him, his gaze first catching on Jensen and his uncertain expression then the pale beige siding of the two-story house over his shoulder. “Jen?”

A half smile curls Jensen's mouth as he slides one arm around Jared's waist and gestures at a 'FOR SALE' sign planted in the yard. “What do you think?” He reaches into the pocket of his slacks and pulls out a single key on a nondescript key chain. “Wanna take a look around inside?”

“What is this?” The house looks pretty much like the home he's always dreamed of having from the siding-and-brick facade and the long porch, the shutters and bushes, the trees and the immaculate lawn, the other houses lining the quiet street and the bright streetlamps illuminating the neighborhood. It's perfect, but he's not sure why they're here.

“There's this woman taking one of my self-defense classes – Jenni Roberts. She's a realtor. We got to talking a few weeks ago when she noticed the sign I had up for the apartment. When I told her about our situation, with the two-bedroom house and the kids, she said she'd keep an eye out for anything... bigger and in a better neighborhood. Aaron and Sarah are actually two streets over.”

Jared's trying to follow – he really is – but this is all kind of happening fast. “What?”

Jensen grins. “Yeah.” He hooks a thumb over his shoulder. “Two blocks away.”

“Wow.”

“So...” he says, guiding Jared forward and onto the walkway that winds from the driveway up to the porch, “she told me about this house last week and I looked at it this past weekend and... it's a really nice house with a big, fenced-in backyard, and I really think you're gonna like it.”

They climb the few steps up onto the porch and Jensen pushes the key into the lock when they reach the front door, turning it in the deadbolt and opening the door, gesturing Jared inside first. There's a short, tiled hall with tall, arched doorways to the left, right, and at the end.

Jensen crowds close behind him, closes the door, and pulls him further into the house. “This would be a dining area,” Jensen says, pausing at the open archway on the right. He points at the hall to the left, telling Jared, “Guest bedroom or office space and the downstairs bathroom down that way,” before leading him the rest of the way down the hall. The room at the end is huge and open, a fireplace in the far corner with a floor-to-ceiling brick mantle and half-wall separating the kitchen on the right. “This would be the living room and the guest room would be here.” He opens a door on their left to show a good-sized room with two tall windows. “Another room for a guest room or an office here.” Jensen's arm slips from Jared's waist and he takes his hand again instead, twining their fingers and pulling him across the open expanse of the living room to a set of double doors. There's a wooden deck beyond the glass and the large, fenced-in backyard he'd promised. “It's great, isn't it?”

“It's... it's perfect,” Jared admits. But this house is nearly brand new and the stainless steel appliances in the kitchen alone are enough to tell him that it's _expensive._ “But Jen-”

“There's more,” Jensen interrupts before pressing a brief kiss to his lips and leading him to the staircase at their right. “This could be a playroom for the kids,” he says of the open space at the top of the stairs before turning the corner into another hallway. There's doorways to the left, right, and end similar to downstairs. “These would be the kids' rooms and their bathroom,” he explains, gesturing to the two doors on the left and the one on the right. “And, down here...” Taking both of Jared's hands, Jensen walks backwards down the hall, smiling all the while. “This would be our room.”

The door opens on a room at least a third of the length of the house. “Wow,” Jared sighs at the sight in front of him. The low platform bed centered on the opposite wall between two tall, narrow windows is definitely a king, if not a _California_ king, fitted with champagne-colored sheets and an off-white duvet. A row of flickering tea lights lines the top of the dark wood headboard. “Jesus, Jen.” Jared shakes his head and looks over at Jensen who just squeezes his hands and smiles, launching back into the tour.

“There's a walk-in closet over there and the master bath-”

Jared shuts him up with a kiss, wrapping his arms around his back. “It's so, _so_ perfect,” he whispers against Jensen's mouth. “But there's no way we can afford this.”

“We _can,_ ” Jensen insists, lifting a hand to brush Jared's bangs out of his eyes.

“Maybe _you_ ,” Jared starts before Jensen's backing away and letting go of him except for his hand. Then he's sinking to one knee and digging in his jacket pocket and Jared's stomach flips like it does in that brief moment of weightlessness when the elevator at work begins its descent. “Jen... what- what are you doing?”

“I know how- how _crazy_ this is, Jay. We haven't even been together for a year yet but I think I knew how I felt about you the first night we spent with each other. You were then – and still are _now_ – everything I've ever wanted, everything I never thought I could have after- after everything I lost. I didn't think I could love someone again, but you proved me wrong. You and Katie. Then Cole.” He takes a deep breath and glances away, blinking his shining eyes before looking back up at Jared with a soft smile. “I love you and there's nothing I want more than for us, for our _family_ , to be together forever.” He pauses again and pulls his hand out of his pocket, holding a glinting ring up towards Jared. “Will you marry me? Will you let me spend the rest of my life with you and our children?”

And that, right there, Jensen asking him if he can spend the rest of his days with Jared and the kids like he's asking for permission or like it's the honor that Jared suddenly realizes that it really is-- “Yes,” he breathes, dropping to his knees in front of Jensen and closing the distance between them, clutching Jensen to his chest and holding him tight as he kisses him again and again, telling him _yes_ every time their lips part.

Jensen pulls away just far enough to lean his forehead against Jared's and he brings their hands up in between them, taking Jared's left hand in his own to slide the ring on with his right. It's a perfect fit and gleams on his finger. “I want this for us,” Jensen says quietly, wide eyes slightly unfocused as he meets Jared's gaze from so close. “If not this house, then-”

“No,” Jared interrupts with a little shake of his head, “this house is perfect. And now that you've, you know, _proposed_ here...”

“Yeah?” Jensen asks, hopeful, eyes going even wider as he sits back on his heels. “One text to Jenni and-”

“Yeah. Do it.”

Jensen reaches into his other jacket pocket for his cell phone and hesitates. “Are you sure?”

“I'm sure.” Jared presses a soft kiss to Jensen's lips and climbs to his feet, pulling Jensen along with him as he sends off a quick text. They kiss again, slowly, arms coming up around each other again as the kisses grow deeper, longer, hotter. Jared's hands are pulling Jensen's shirt from his waistband and reaching for his belt buckle when Jensen's cell vibrates noisily.

A quick glance at the screen leaves him grinning hugely then he's dropping the phone and shouldering out of his jacket, hands pushing at Jared's as he guides him back towards the bed. “Good thing I put a down payment on the place and got all the financial checks out of the way after she gave me the tour,” he says against Jared's throat as his fingers start on Jared's shirt buttons. “We're gonna celebrate and christen this bed. Then the shower and wherever the hell else we want to.” He strips Jared of his dress shirt and undershirt, makes quick work of his belt and the fly of his slacks. “The floor... kitchen counter... against the front door so we can remember this moment every time we come home.”

Jared lets himself fall onto the mattress when Jensen pushes him back and follows him down. “Yeah,” he says as Jensen pulls at his shoes and socks before tugging his pants and underwear off in a few quick jerks. “Okay.” Legs bent at the knee, he pulls Jensen between his thighs, stomach muscles trembling with his effort to sit up as he works on getting Jensen out of his pants while Jensen unbuttons his shirt.

They collapse in a laughing, naked heap, Jensen slowly kissing down Jared's chest as he reaches behind himself for his pants, fumbling his wallet out of the back pocket. He blindly digs a condom and a packet of lube out from behind the few bills.

“Boy scout,” Jared accuses with a chuckle that tapers off into a groan when Jensen mouths at the faint cesarean scar beneath his bellybutton. He tangles his fingers in the short strands of Jensen's hair, keeping him close as Jensen's lips and teeth and tongue move lower and lower, trailing over the leaking head of Jared's dick and the thick vein along the underside of his shaft, the thin skin of his balls and further back. Jared lets go of Jensen's hair to grab behind his knees and hold himself open for the thick, wet press of Jensen's tongue. “Jesus _Christ._ ”

One of Jensen's fingers joins his tongue as he works Jared open slowly. A second finger replaces his tongue and he makes his way back up Jared's body, spending more time licking and sucking at Jared's balls, working his cock with the tease of slight suction and the gentle graze of teeth. He follows the same path up Jared's body that he took before dinner. “I love you,” he says when he reaches the middle of Jared's chest and presses a kiss over his heart, settling against him, between his thighs, and reaching for his hands. He laces their fingers together as he leans up to press a kiss to Jared's mouth. “Today and every day.”

“Today and every day,” Jared repeats, squeezing Jensen's hands gently before letting go and reaching for the foil packets he can feel wedged beneath his hip.

Jensen pushes himself up on one hand, putting just enough space between them for Jared to roll the condom down over Jensen's dick and slick him up with lube. He watches as Jared uses the excess on himself, pressing two then three fingers into his hole before reaching for Jensen's cock and lining him up. With a shift of his hips, the head is slipping in and plunging deeper when Jared angles his pelvis up. “Fuck,” Jensen grunts, falling to his elbows and all but attacking Jared's mouth.

Wrapping his legs around Jensen, Jared meets each languid thrust and kisses Jensen back with everything he's got until they're both breathless and panting into each other's mouths.

“C'mon,” Jensen urges, slipping a hand between them to fist Jared's dick. “Come on, baby.”

Jared shakes his head and pulls Jensen's hand away, twining their fingers together. “I want- wanna come just from this, from the feel of you inside me.”

“ _God._ Yeah, okay.” Jensen kisses him slowly but quickens the pace of his thrusts, rocking into him harder and deeper until his knot is swelling and pushing past the tight ring of Jared's hole.

Jared's close, tightens his thighs around Jensen's hips and crosses his ankles behind his back. “Oh,” he pants, tearing his mouth away from Jensen's. “Right- right _there._ ” Jensen's hitting his prostate with every single thrust and slow grind and, with the way his own dick is trapped between their bodies, the friction of Jensen's stomach against the underside, it's enough to send him over the edge, body taut and shuddering.

Jensen brings their joined hands above Jared's head, using the better leverage to grind into him harder, slower. “Jared,” he says breathlessly. “Jay, _Jay._ ”

Jared nods, bites at Jensen's lips and sucks at his tongue. “Yeah. C'mon, c'mon.”

With an inelegant stutter of hips and a tensing of his muscles, Jensen spills into the condom hard enough Jared can feel it even through the extra-thick latex. His cock pulses as his knot throbs and just the feel of him nearly brings Jared to a second orgasm. Slipping his arms beneath Jared's back, he attempts to roll them onto their sides but Jared protests with a grunt and tries to tighten his weak legs around Jensen's hips.

“Wanna stay like this,” Jared says, turning his head to press a sloppy kiss to the corner Jensen's mouth.

“You sure? I'm gonna get heavy,” Jensen tells him, carefully resting his weight against Jared's body.

Jared nods, eyes closed, lethargy creeping into all his muscles. “Mmhmm.” He lifts a hand to run his fingers through Jensen's sweaty hair. “Just like this.”

“Okay,” Jensen says, pressing his face into the side of Jared's neck. “Just like this.”

It's perfect. Sure, the kids aren't here, but they will be. They'll all be together, in this house, as a family so soon. And, as sleep slowly pulls him under, all Jared can think is, _This is how happily ever after starts._

**Author's Note:**

> There are two instances of attempted non-con: there are unwanted advances made towards Jared in a bar, and again when the same man tries to force himself on Jared outside of Jared's house.
> 
> The tragedies include Jensen revealing to Jared how he lost his previous family in an accidental house fire and Jared's traumatic pregnancy (Jared suffers eclampsia, winds up giving birth via c-section, and goes into a coma) which is mostly glossed over and mentioned briefly by Jensen.
> 
> Feel free to let me know if I need to tag for anything else!


End file.
